May 21 2013

Organising is a journey, not a destination

I am battling a little bit to find my groove since getting back from honeymoon. There is still wedding stuff everywhere (it’s not as pretty as it was BEFORE the wedding though), there are empty boxes from all our gifts everywhere (the kids made forts and recycling day is tomorrow), there are study notes and text books all over (exams start next Monday). It’s all just a little chaotic and I am struggling to work through it all.

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  • I am really battling with my honeymoon post not because it wasn’t awesome. It was. Zanzibar is just a complex country. It is a 3rd world country in every single way and yet it has these luxury hotels dotting it’s coast line. It is in my drafts and will happen.
  • I started gym again this week and realised it’s been a month since I have been. I am hoping it helps me to feel less lethargic than I am at the moment. I wake up tired and feel like I am wading through mud all throughout the day. I even napped with Jack on Friday – I NEVER do this.
  • Jack turns 2 in less than a month – can you believe that!!!!! So it’s party planning central here at the moment because the week after this birthday is Cameron’s 11th birthday.
  • I finished a book this weekend called the Pursuit of Happiness by Donald Kennedy. It has been years since I read a book that has exhausted me like that book did. It was a brilliant book but it was one of those books that draws you in and it’s almost like you are experience the trauma/happiness first hand.
  • We have come to a cross roads with Kiara – we know the route we are going to be taking but it is not as easy for me as I thought it would be :-/ Suppose it’s the whole dealing with change thing?
  • We got so many amazing wedding gifts – it was like Christmas!!!! Marcia commented when I said I wanted gifts on the clutter side of it. The thing is we asked for stuff I needed and with my major de-clutter at the beginning of the year the stuff we have all has a home and the cupboards don’t feel cramped!! It makes me smile every time I used one of the oven dishes or pots :)
  • For the first time in 2 years the kids won’t go to my parents for the June/July holidays and Kiara said yesterday “I wonder what we will be doing” – it made me slightly anxious I won’t lie! During December David is also at home so it’s a little easier but now I have all 3 at home for 3 weeks.

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And that’s me for today.

May 20 2013

So parenting is hard and it is supposed to be!

We went away this weekend with my friend Ansie and her family. It was a last minute decision and I was so glad we decided to go with. It was a really great weekend.

Ansie has 3 boys and when they were younger she would say to me that moms with more than 2 boys have their spots in heaven reserved. After this weekend I can see why. Her boys aren’t naughty but they are BOYS, which means they wrestle, punch, tease and rough house pretty much all the time. I always wanted boys but after this weekend I am kinda hoping baby 4 is a girl :-p

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We had a few conversations during the weekend about parenting and there was much contemplation about whether or not we are doing ok job.

A few of these conversations got me thinking about parenting. I don’t think there is a parent out there who hasn’t muttered the words “no one told me it would be like this” or “I followed all the steps in the book but she still won’t sleep/eat”. The wine drinking mommy’s are dime a dozen these days. We are all now talking about the realities of parenting. Hopefully as a result of these conversations, parents are feeling more confident and at ease raising their children.

One of the biggest realities of parenting that has always existed is that parenting is HARD and it is supposed to be. Think about what parenting is. Think about what you are doing.
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You are raising a child who will become an adult. You are raising a “you”. A person who will, like you are now, become part of an adult world, making adult decisions, doing adult things. If you, as the parent, mess that up then you are ultimately doing the world, in general, a disservice. You could be sending an adult off into the world who is unable to make decisions, who can’t think for themselves, who has no confidence, who believes no matter what happens dad will bail me out.

So much rests on your shoulders as a parent. You have to make decisions on behalf of your child every single day – do I move them to a remedial school, do they also follow my vegan way of life, do I give them ritalin, is home schooling really in their best interests, do I leave their father, do I let them sleep over, do I breast feed, do I take the promotion, do I let them join club soccer. The list goes on and on because until they are able to make these choices for themselves, we have to, it is part of what we signed up for when we decided to be a parent.

It’s a pretty crazy thing to be doing when you think of it like that isn’t it?

I think often people loose sight of the bigger picture when parenting though. It isn’t really about the right now – it is about the day they turn 18 and are legally adults. It is about getting them ready for that moment.

It is eighteen years ago, almost to the day –
A sunny day with leaves just turning,
The touch-lines new-ruled – since I watched you play
Your first game of football, then, like a satellite
Wrenched from its orbit, go drifting away

Behind a scatter of boys. I can see
You walking away from me towards the school
With the pathos of a half-fledged thing set free
Into a wilderness, the gait of one
Who finds no path where the path should be.

That hesitant figure, eddying away
Like a winged seed loosened from its parent stem,
Has something I never quite grasp to convey
About nature’s give-and-take – the small, the scorching
Ordeals which fire one’s irresolute clay.

I have had worse partings, but none that so
Gnaws at my mind still. Perhaps it is roughly
Saying what God alone could perfectly show –
How selfhood begins with a walking away,
And love is proved in the letting go. C Day-Lewis

May 16 2013

What’s changed?

My parents watched all 3 kids for us while we were away except for the weekend when Jack went to David’s mom. A few days into our trip my mom posted this as her FB status

It is wonderful being here with the kids but between the old man and me we are battling to keep our heads above water. The kids and even the cleaning is fine. School the dreaded school, fetching ,sport, homework, projects, tests…….. the list goes on and on. I just wonder if the school sends out the compulsory deposit for next year now because you are so exhausted by this time of the year that you dont even realise that you are paying it. I think it is the school’s way of trapping you into coming back. I always critizise my daughter but how she does what she does amazes me. It is easy to judge from afar where the most important thing you have to do each day is to decide what is for supper. I finally worked out that Jack is cold at night he is sleeping like a log now ironically I cant sleep. To all you moms, and grans who take care of kids, you are true heros. We have not had TV for a weeek and have not even noticed.

It is true that until you walk a mile in someone else’s shoes you never really fully understand but I was still a little surprised that my mom was “battling”. She is a teacher, she has taught for 30+ years and SHE is battling with the homework and school duties! My dad actually said he is glad he worked while my mother played taxi to us because it has been exhausting going up and down from here to there every day. What do you think has changed though between then and now? Is it simply a case of my parents being older now and having less energy for kid stuff? Yes my mom had one less kid but my brother and I were both very busy with extra muruals and we both did club swimming which meant galas over weekends etc and she worked full time. So her days were no quieter than mine or less chaotic. Or is it possible that we haven’t actually made our lives easier? Has our schooling changed that much that a seasoned teacher can not keep up with homework? What do you think? When you think back on your childhood in terms of school and daily routine – was it the same as it is now? Was it harder/easier/calmer?

May 15 2013

The Wedding (part 2)

I wrote a little bit about the wedding over here but it was more to say thank you to our friends and family who helped make our day so perfect.

This post is about the people we paid to make it that way and I can say that not one of them let us down in any way.

(I was going to pepper this post with photos but decided that all I would be doing was reposting Jeanette’s blog so if you haven’t seen the photos – go here)

The venue – Imperfect Perfection

I really don’t know how to put in to words how incredible this venue is and how well it is run by Noleen and her sister in law. Those of you who attended the wedding may not believe but I had 3 meetings with Noleen. (Marcia you would have loved the last meeting – Noleen’s check list runs as the events of the wedding are run – so she starts – parking area, walk way – do you need x, then welcome drinks, chapel – etc – she misses NOTHING). Noleen is calm personified. I am not sure she ever gets rattled. She knows her venue, she knows her staff, she knows brides and she knows how to organise amazing weddings. I dropped off all the decor items on Thursday. When I had a small cry about the runners being too short on the Thursday (totally my bad), Noleen was calm and said – we will get Hester to hire us some more – leave it with me. That was that. She sorted it out. I had labelled the boxes so they knew what went where but was not expecting what I saw on Friday morning to be honest. The chapel looked AMAZING. All I said was “please hang these birds up at different lengths”. It was perfect. The tables were all set – the runners on. All I had to do was place the centre pieces on and decorate the main table.

We were served champagne throughout the day and Noleen was on call if we needed anything (like scissors and glue and what not). While the guy was putting up the bunting I actually felt like we were getting in the way. He had it under control and knew exactly how to do it. I had a lot of decor left over because I had planned for 10 tables and we ended up with 8 and my bought a lot of stuff. They told me to leave it there, they would colour in the lines for us now. And they did. The detail they added complimented my idea and vision and made it so incredibly beautiful.

The wedding day was amazing. Noleen was there in the wings if we needed anything, her staff was there always with a smile and a helping hand. Just before 16h00 Noleen came to get us and then it all just happened. The music started, I saw David and and it all just came together. The food was outstanding. The service friendly and helpful. The kids were catered for.

I can not thank Noleen and her team enough for their help, guidance, support and professionalism. So many people came to me so say what an amazing job I had done with the decor but really the credit goes to Imperfect Perfection. Thank you all so very very much for making our day so special.

The photography – Jeanette Verster Photography

I am not sure there really is much to say here. The pictures speak for themselves. I think I booked Jeanette before I booked a venue. I knew I wanted her, not only because she is a friend but also because she is an extremely talented and professional photographer. She organised people, worked around late arrivals and lots of cow dung :) We had so much fun running around trying to get geese and cows into the shots. I look at the photos and each one is more special than the next. Each one is so full of emotion. Each one captures the perfection that was our day. Thank you (again) Jeanette for capturing our day.

The music – JukeBoxDJ

Wouter comes recommended by Noleen and one of the reasons I contacted him was because she said he keeps everything wireless. I am a bit anal about certain things and wires all over is one of them. We met with him, liked him and booked. I actually didn’t even know he was there to be honest. He came to check the songs with me before hand and then just made it all happen – without any wires :) All the mic’s worked, the songs were played perfectly and we all danced. I can see why Noleen is happy to “partner” with him. He is professional, organised and knows what he is doing. He doesn’t have a website but his email is jukeboxdj@mail.com.

The ceremony – Riaan

After stressing about finding someone who would marry us I am so glad MeeA sent me Riaan’s details. I actually saw him for the first time when I walked down the aisle but he in no way let us down. The ceremony was short and simple. Exactly what we wanted. Thank you Riaan.

The photo booth – Funky Photo Booth

This was a last minute booking and I am so glad we did it. It was so much fun and we have an amazing collection of pictures to wade through from the booth. Lea and her partner did such a great job. They had loads of props and really just added so much fun and laughter to the evening.

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The rest :)

The banners on the main table were bought from Heart and Home (Photo below taken by Wenchy)

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Angel made the cake!It was gluten free and SOOOO divine I am so sad I never took more when David and I left. (Apparently Jack enjoyed the birds on top :) ) Pic by Wenchy again.

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Tharien from Swagger made the thank you gifts, the bridesmaids chains and the badges David and the grooms men wore. I can not recommend her enough. Her products are incredible. Her service outstanding.

The hanger my dress was on was from Hartebessiebos.

My mom made the millions of metres of bunting and the birds hanging all over.

Lyndsay made me look beautiful and Nicole did my hair.

The cake pops were made by Pieter (who also works for David) – they were apparently DIVINE. Unfortunately neither David or I got round to tasting them.

I hope I haven’t left anyone out :)

The honeymoon posts and photos will follow shortly.

May 10 2013

Oh hello there

It’s raining today but everyone is still sitting outside under the little thatch umbrellas. The sea is full if fisherman and women. The cows are still chilling on the sand. Life doesn’t seem to change at all when it rains here.

We have reached relaxation mode! I am very happy to lie here doing nothing but read my book, watch the ever changing sky and drink cocktails :)

It has been incredible so far but I will post more when we get back.

Just wanted to check in, and I am missing blogging!!

Hope you are all well and happy!!

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May 5 2013

On my wedding

This post is coming to you live from our bridal sweet at Imperfect Perfection!

I have so much to say and so decided while David sleeps and my body clock has me up early I will share a few things!

I never ended up speaking – I had so much I wanted to say, so many people to thank that I think it us actually better said here.

Weddings don’t happen on their own and as much as you try and do it on your own you can’t and yesterday could not have been possible without Natasha and Drew! There actually aren’t really words to express my gratitude to them both for the time and effort they put into the planning, printing, punching and general run around. Natasha was probably the best chief bridesmaid ever. Thank you!!!

Where Tash is heart and fairies and unicorns, Ansie is logic and reason. Ansie keeps me grounded while Tash is flying off on pink balloons! But Ansie has been there. Always. Supporting, encouraging, drinking and being one of the best friends I will ever have! I felt honored to have you stand next to me yesterday.

As some of you know Jeanette took our photos. I chose Jeanette for 2 reasons – she is an amazing photographer but mainly because she is my friend! We may see each other much but I consider her a good friend and it was so very special for me to have her not only share the day with us but capture it. Thank you Jeanette!

Just three more mentions!

My family! My mom made all the bunting you may have seen, she made little birds, she pinned dresses and she watched children! My dad made me cry with his speech! My brother made me laugh and his beautiful little girl threw her flowers beautifully. Nhin pinned dresses and helped where it was needed! I actually couldn’t have chosen a better family!

My new family who actually made me cry proper tears during their speeches! Thank you! Ross, if you read this, thank you for taking the time to read that post, for keeping it and for sharing it! Vee – thank you loving David the way you do! Amy – I think you may need something stronger than panado today and Rob enjoy the 17 year old boobs but ditch the smoke IMMEDIATELY!! Benj – I look forward to the photos :)

My mom in law said some lovely things and while it’s been a bumpy road at times I know that both of our intentions are good and her support means so much to both David and I!

Lastly Godfather Guy! For the most part I am in awe of the friendship between David and Guy! It is an amazing thing to see and now be a part of! Guy is, and always will be, a part of our family! I feel privileged to have in in our lives! Thank you Guy for always, always being there!!!

A big thank you to everyone who came through and for all the wishes! The day was amazing! You were all right – it comes together in the end :)

Watch Jeanette’s blog for photos..

May 3 2013

It’s nearly mothers day

I will be on my honeymoon for Mothers Day but was lucky enough to receive a hamper from Style 36 to celebrate being a mom.

I got the most beautiful set of ear rings.

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A lovely scarf

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And my favourite – a pair of slippers!

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Style36 are also running a stunning competition – if you go to their website browse the Mothers Day goodies and look out for this logo and click through to enter and win.

 

I can highly recommend getting the slippers for winter, they are super comfortable and warm.

Apr 29 2013

A-Z of life right now

I got this from Julia’s blog and decided to join in.

I am not getting to reading my blog’s at the moment there really is just too much going on so I am sorry for the lack of interaction.

Cameron came to me with a list of things he would like me to do for him this coming week – organise a sleepover, buy an iTunes voucher – you know stuff that REALLY must be done 7 days before a wedding :-p He still doesn’t get why I can’t do it!

Oh this actually reminds me, he has to do an oral on what his parents/friends/teachers etc do for him. According to him David does his homework (??????????) and buys him soccer boots (??????????) and I clean. Kiara helps him by nagging me to get what HE wants until I give in and my mom helps by watching them when I can’t handle them! Fortunately when the teacher calls me to discuss any of this I will be in Zanzibar :-p

Back to the list

A – Acid – there is acid bubbling around in my tummy. Meds are easing it but I can hear it bubble.
B – Boxes and boxes of wedding decor piled up in my study.
C – Coke Zero because I need it!
D – Debby who has helped out so much over the last 3 weeks. There are no words to express my appreciation.
E – Elephants just because they are my favourite animal!
F – Family and friends who will be arriving soon.
G – Gym – I miss it. Hoping to get a class in tomorrow when Jack is with Granny.
H – Honeymoon – just around the corner!
I – Imperfect Perfection – our most awesome wedding venue.
J – ?????
K – Kids who make me crazy but also keep me sane!
L – Laughter – kids and I have been doing a lot of this this week.
M – Mom who arrives in 4 sleeps.
N – Natasha – would not have ever coped without her – EVER!
O – ????
P – Provinces! We are learning them! Over and over again.
Q – Quiet – there is none! I need some.
R – Reading – I am escaping in books at the moment. On no 3 in a month which is a record for me.
S – Skitterblink who are coming to clean my house on Thursday so when my folks arrive it appears I have it all under control.
T – TV – judge me I don’t care but it keeps the kids occupied while I get stuff done.
U – Urbanol – helping me keep it all together.
V – Vanish – between my clothes and Cameron’s soccer stuff we are motoring through the stuff!
W – Waxing scheduled for Thursday
X – ????
Y – Yoga pants – that is all!
Z – Zanzibar – just around the corner!