It has taken me most of the year but I am finally in a nice rhythm. We have our routine, the afternoons are busy and there is lots of driving around but its manageable and its all been working nicely. I don’t have that “rushed” feeling as much as I used earlier this year.
But yesterday the bus was late!
Not my bus. The bus that was bringing Kiara back from their school outing.
Jane isn’t here on a Thursday so generally Emma and I chill at home in the morning. Believe it or not we actually have a little nap routine now but something happened yesterday and she didn’t nap well but she did at least still nap. Back to the point. We needed to leave at 13h30 tio fetch Kiara and Jack, Emma woke up at 13h05 so there was time for a quick lunch. Obviously she hates the food I am trying to feed her so purses her lips and refuses to eat the healthy organic, preservative free home made food. By now its 13h20 and we need to get going so I squirt a Barney berry smoothie into her mouth because obviously she loves all the sugar, preservatives and other stuff that makes it taste nice.
Race to school, park the car and notice the playground is empty. I have flashbacks to a few weeks ago when I arrived an hour early to fetch them but then I notice the parking lot is full. So I walk in only to be told that the bus with the children is running late, their ETA is 14h30. Fantastic!
It is now 13h50. Cameron needs to be fetched at 14h45 so I can’t go and fetch him. It is 10 minutes to our house, 5 minutes to unpack the babies, and then 5 minutes to get them bacj in the car and 10 minutes to get back to school – so no real point going home.
So I get Jack and decide we are going to go to Spur at the bottom of the road and have a plate of chips while we wait. I tell Jack this (rookie mistake) and off we go. As soon as we can all see the Spur, I realise I don’t have my purse because this was supposed to be a 20 minute trip to fetch kids and go home! A quick trip home means we are now not able to sit down at Spur but I tell Jack we will get a take away box.
The sound that came out of his mouth after I said the word “box” is something that will haunt me forever! The amount of tears that sprayed from his eyes had me convinced he would need a litre of rehidrate. The child was traumatised beyond words. I was traumatised beyond words and was wondering how much I would need to bribe the waiter at Spur to give a take away bottle of wine!
Fortunately the fact that we had to sit down and wait for the take away calmed him somewhat but my blood pressure spiked immediately when the waiter brought me the bill – R100 for a kids burger, toasted cheese and two cold drinks – ok then Spur, thanks for that!
I settle Jack in his car seat with his food but obviously the smiley faces were cooked in molten lava which meant no one could touch them let alone eat them. Cue weird traumatising howling from Jack.
By now we are late for Kiara which means we will be late for Cameron but we have our over priced burger!
Off we go. Wait patiently for the parents who don’t understand the ONE WAY arrow or the PICK UP ONLY sign in the school parking lot. Kiara jumps in and off we go.
Emma, not to be outdone by her brother, lets out a blood curdling scream, arches her back and looks like she is about to transform into Wonder Baby and burst out her car seat and smash through the window! We try to distract her with a smiley face which has now cooled to luke warm molten lava.
There is calm.
Until Jack tries to take a bite of this burger and the bun breaks. Now Jack has these severe OCD issues. He can only eat fixed stuff. Do not even try to convince him otherwise, you will come off second best. Thankfully there is no howling instead he is now sobbing like he has lost his best friend into his broken burger bun which obviously results in burger sauce all over his shirt which cued the crazy crying again.
At this point I actually started crying a little.
Kiara wrestled the broken burger from him, because you know how it goes, he doesn’t want to eat it but he does want to hold onto it and remind me repeatedly why he can’t eat it. She wiped the burger sauce and gave him the smiley faces.
I thought we had reached calm again but then Emma did her “I am going to transform into a crazed baby” thing again.
At this point Kiara started crying a little.
Fetch Cameron, he has these crazy skills with Jack so we manage to get Jack to eat the sandwich I got for Cameron and he eats the burger. The four of them share the chips because once the smiley faces had cooled Jack breathed all 8 of them in in one breathe but is still hungry for chips.
Finally with some food in his tummy, Jack is calm. Kiara and I have stopped crying and Cameron is rambling on about something I should have probably been listening too.
Emma is still not on the same page. It is at about this point in our journey that I realised that I hadn’t changed her nappy after her nap because the school pick was supposed to be 20 minutes and NOT the 110 minutes it ended up being. I start crying again!
So I try to get to swimming as fast as possible but obviously every slow vehicle in Pretoria is on Garstfontein Road and when I do get passed them I get a red robot. I throw Cameron out at swimming, race back home and change the nappy which I realise is actually FINE because you know Huggies really are a great nappy and there was no need for me to be berating myself for being a bad mother.
I did the only thing left to do – I grabbed the wine.
All of this because the bus was late!
PS I left out the part where we discover the Captain America DVD is missing. This is Jacks current favourite movie, he needs to watch it at least once a day. It appears David took it. I am actually not sure our marriage will survive it if he doesn’t return it ASAP.