Glamorous life – or is it!

Last week there was lots of rumblings in the world of single mom bloggers by some comments Anne Coulter made!

I didnt read the whole thing – she lost me at her comment that single moms raise violent criminals – but one thing that did stick in my head yesterday was her statement that single moms are glamourising being single moms! Indeed we are Anne! In fact yesterday I felt VERY glamourous!

My day started at 1h00 (thats ONE in the MORNING) with my kids being woken by the storm! Nothing wrong there. Except as I got up I was hit by a huge wave of nausea! But off I went to calm child one. As I walk past the lounge I notice my mom is up too – she is up because she has broken a bone in her foot and couldnt sleep – she had been told she would need surgery and this was stressing her out!

I get back into bed and close my eyes but then hear my mom talking to Cameron! So back up I get and this time I had to RUN to get to the toilet – no longer was I just nauseus! Then back to calm Cameron!

On queue child 2 wakes up! And surprise surprise she is wet. So I change her, sneak her to my bed so child 2 doesnt see her. I cant have them both in my bed!

Calm – head on pillow, eyes closed! BANG CRASH BANG!

Back up to calm child 2 and a quick stop to hug the toilet again (Can you feel the glamour yet?)

Not to bore you but this went on for about an hour! And my mom cant help cos she cant freaking walk with her foot!

Finally the storm dies down and kids fall asleep. GREAT!

Or not! Then the tummy cramps start and if I didnt know better I would have sworn I was in labour! It was HECTIC – the cramps were the worst I have ever had in my life!!! So there I was crying with pain with Kiaras foot wedged in my side and her hand in my ear! YES I tried moving her – several times! She ended up back in that position!

Finally its time to get up – WOOFLIPPENHOO!

I looked in the mirror – I was so pale Casper would have gotten a fright!

I pulled on a pair of old pants – purely cos my tummy was still excruciatingly sore and they are my fat pants so were big but also have a hole in the back – and take the kids too school! I looked like crap – the teacher looked at me and skipped “morning” and went straight to “shame” and shoot her head.

Fast forward – finally see a Dr who puts me on a drip! Yes people A DRIP! First time in my life! And in true Laura style I was dramatic! I have spent years in hospital and I HATE them! So they stick the drip and I start whining like a baby “take it out it is hurting me” and then when the ignored that I tried “take it out its BURNING” – when they started looking like they may call the psychologist I kept quiet!

Needless to say I survived, came home and slept the day away! All very glamorous hey Anne!!

I was still very bleak but my mom needed to be taken to the orthopaedic surgeon, kids needed to be fetched, dinner needed to be arranged!

The world kept on turning! Despite the fact that I felt like a steam roller had flattened me! Despite the fact I hadnt eaten anything in nearly 24 hours! Despite the fact that my blood pressure was still way below what it should be!

And add to that I know need to worry that my kids are going to turn out violent criminals but I am consoling myself with the fact that my life is glamourous!

19 thoughts on “Glamorous life – or is it!

  1. That was friggin great. I don’t always understand all your lingo. Do you mean you were put on a saline drip? For a stomach virus? That sounds serious! I hope you are ok and feeling better!

    I know how glamorous single mother life can be. Why just today I got to leave my job to pick up my daughter because she has ringworm. Theres nothing hotter than Ringworm!

  2. Sorry you have been sick Laura, hope you feel better now.

    I think there is very little that is glamorous about parenting full stop – single or not. It is not for the squeamish and faint hearted.

    Besides how different would your story have been had you not been a single parent? No much, I bet! ;) I still do everything for the kids, just that now I get to clean the pool, lock up the house at night and lie awake listening to odd sounds in case I need to defend myself and kids as well, but other than that not much has changed to be honest!

    Hope you have a good day.

    • LOL true I suppose Jane!! But I would like to think that had someone been next to me he would have at least held my hair for me ;-p

  3. Wow! Anne’s right, this is glamourous! In fact I think I’m a little turned on by it all….

    lol! The stupid things that people say, huh?
    Hope you’re feeling much better, elkay :))

  4. The best part about it is you came home from the hospital, fixed dinner, picked up the kids and continued on! THAT to me is single parenthood. There is no one else picking up the slack while you lounge in bed to recuperate.

    Hope you’re better!!

  5. LOL you little sex kitten and i bet you had time to painted your nails admist it all.

    poor douwdy Anne probably sits in her slippers and knits while we live it up.

    xxx

  6. Geewhiz … here I am thinking being married was glamourous. I am definately missing out on the glamourous life! Poor Anne!!!

    Hope you feeling better and hopefully that the tummy bug didn’t jump onto your kids.

  7. May I vent? Who in their right mind thinks that ANY single mom would glamorize it? Yes, it is so glamorous to be up all night with a sick kid. Not to mention the joy of wiping their butts, cleaning their puke, and never having any money cuz it all goes to their care and upkeep. Yes I find working two jobs to support kids to be very glamorous indeed. This really ticks me off! Obviously this person is completely ignorant. AAANNNNNDDDD. My teenage daughter is neither pregnant, nor a criminal, thank you very much!

  8. OMG! Very glamourous indeed, jeesh. I’ve been reading so much about this and it just turns my stomach. I mean, my brother and I were raising by a very glamourous single mom (if you called her brown and orange polyester cashier’s uniform glam) are very violent criminals – we are stealing cars and selling drugs when we’re not working full time careers, saving money and making a positive contribution to the world. Gah!

    I’d love to make single motherhood even a bit glamourous but there’s not a moment in the day to even fathom it. How ridiculous…I believe those comments were made to generate buzz. It worked. These things often do.

  9. glamourising it?!??
    holy crap…
    okay, maybe if i had madonna’s millions and i could adopt me some rainbow babies from all over the planet and made public announcements and did photo shoots every time i did so i’d be glamourising it- but i have always been very vocal on my viewpoint that its not the recommended way to do things!
    i am not at all impressed with women who deliberately fall pregnant because they want to have a baby- without taking into account or thinking about fot the wuck you’re going to tell that child one day.
    my life has never been glamorous. ever.
    anne can stick it where the sun doesn’t shine.

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