Last week there was lots of rumblings in the world of single mom bloggers by some comments Anne Coulter made!
I didnt read the whole thing – she lost me at her comment that single moms raise violent criminals – but one thing that did stick in my head yesterday was her statement that single moms are glamourising being single moms! Indeed we are Anne! In fact yesterday I felt VERY glamourous!
My day started at 1h00 (thats ONE in the MORNING) with my kids being woken by the storm! Nothing wrong there. Except as I got up I was hit by a huge wave of nausea! But off I went to calm child one. As I walk past the lounge I notice my mom is up too – she is up because she has broken a bone in her foot and couldnt sleep – she had been told she would need surgery and this was stressing her out!
I get back into bed and close my eyes but then hear my mom talking to Cameron! So back up I get and this time I had to RUN to get to the toilet – no longer was I just nauseus! Then back to calm Cameron!
On queue child 2 wakes up! And surprise surprise she is wet. So I change her, sneak her to my bed so child 2 doesnt see her. I cant have them both in my bed!
Calm – head on pillow, eyes closed! BANG CRASH BANG!
Back up to calm child 2 and a quick stop to hug the toilet again (Can you feel the glamour yet?)
Not to bore you but this went on for about an hour! And my mom cant help cos she cant freaking walk with her foot!
Finally the storm dies down and kids fall asleep. GREAT!
Or not! Then the tummy cramps start and if I didnt know better I would have sworn I was in labour! It was HECTIC – the cramps were the worst I have ever had in my life!!! So there I was crying with pain with Kiaras foot wedged in my side and her hand in my ear! YES I tried moving her – several times! She ended up back in that position!
Finally its time to get up – WOOFLIPPENHOO!
I looked in the mirror – I was so pale Casper would have gotten a fright!
I pulled on a pair of old pants – purely cos my tummy was still excruciatingly sore and they are my fat pants so were big but also have a hole in the back – and take the kids too school! I looked like crap – the teacher looked at me and skipped “morning” and went straight to “shame” and shoot her head.
Fast forward – finally see a Dr who puts me on a drip! Yes people A DRIP! First time in my life! And in true Laura style I was dramatic! I have spent years in hospital and I HATE them! So they stick the drip and I start whining like a baby “take it out it is hurting me” and then when the ignored that I tried “take it out its BURNING” – when they started looking like they may call the psychologist I kept quiet!
Needless to say I survived, came home and slept the day away! All very glamorous hey Anne!!
I was still very bleak but my mom needed to be taken to the orthopaedic surgeon, kids needed to be fetched, dinner needed to be arranged!
The world kept on turning! Despite the fact that I felt like a steam roller had flattened me! Despite the fact I hadnt eaten anything in nearly 24 hours! Despite the fact that my blood pressure was still way below what it should be!
And add to that I know need to worry that my kids are going to turn out violent criminals but I am consoling myself with the fact that my life is glamourous!