Look at me

Currently on SABC 3 we are watching the last of Oprahs shows where she is remembering memorable moments.

It’s actually rather nice to be honest.

Anyway last night she had Toni Morrison on and she said something that made me think.

She said “when your child walks into the room how do you look at them”

And then went on to say that as parents when our children walk in we are generally checking to see if they have a jacket on, the right clothes, if their clothes are clean etc. Which means we are looking at them critically.

Every morning when my kids walk into our room – mainly to see Jack – I ask “What’s wrong?”

I am almost expecting there to be an issue – a missing sock or a lost jacket or an argument that needs reffing.

Most of the time when I see them I am reminding them to blow their nose, put their slippers on, not to mess crumbs or leave their glass there.

I could argue that their nose needs to be blown or they will get a cold if they don’t put their slippers on etc etc but is this affecting the way my kids respond to me? Will they remember me as always barking orders? Will they think of me as looking at them critically?

Maybe before I start barking orders I need to stop, smile at them and then carry on?

It really made me think about the way I interact with them though!

Moms – what are your thoughts? How do you look at your kids when they walk into the room?

Just do it

I am so over this cold weather. Even the promise of snow nearby is not cheering me up.

I want to be able to sit outside with Jack and let him feel the sun and be able to take him out in one layer of clothes instead of 25.

Thanks for all the positive feedback on my post about doubting myself – I am feeling a lot better and more positive.

My domestic/nanny starts full time on Monday and that will also help me a lot to feel in control of things at home!

I have also started “working” again this week – its been a little slow because we had our 6 week check ups yesterday but I am slowly getting back into the swing of things. Amazing how once you just DO IT it no longer seems so daunting.

I am going to venture into Hermanstad on Thursday to try get the part for our oven before David leaves me for a women with an oven :-p

I found out about sewing lessons today – I can go in any time and they will help me – I can’t wait. David has already asked if I can make curtains. May be slightly adventurous for my first time but how hard can it be?

I also have a small give away for my readers who like to cook. Chef Jeff mailed me with a link to download his e-recipe book for free. It comes with Grocery Store Savings and Menu plans. The meals are made with 10 ingredients or less and most of the recipes take 30 minutes or less to prepare.

Email me if you would like a copy – laurakallmayer@gmail.com

PS I have put an update on Jack on my J2J blog :)

Friendship

Today I had lunch with my friend Ansie. It was soooo good.

Ansie and I have known each other almost 4 years which means Ansie has been with me through my divorce. She has seen me at my worst and at my best. She has seen me drunk and cry the ugly cry. She has watched my kids and never says no.

She is possible my most honest friend. She will tell you you look fat in that and not feel bad – it’s one of the reason I love her so much.

We don’t spend nearly enough time with each other but she is always there.

On Monday when my car battery died and the kids had 40 minutes to get to school I didn’t hesitate to call my friend Louette. She lives 10 minutes away and even though I woke her up she didn’t hesitate to say yes and jumped in her car in her pjs and took the kids to school for me.

She is almost like my “other” mother now that my mom is in the Cape. I know she will drop everything to help me out of a jam – I know this because she has rescued me from keys locked in cars and broken down cars.

She asks no questions. Passes no judgement. Supports unconditionally.

So today I am grateful for friendships like the one I have with Ansie and Louette.

What are you grateful for?

How far I have come

I have been feeling rather despondent lately. One of the Brave Girls mails that I get daily mentioned looking back to see how much you really have achieved.

And then Leigh posted her 40 post and Lyndsay her 26 post so even though its not my birthday I thought I would join in.

I have lost a lot of faith in myself the last 2 months. I didn’t expect that this would happen but it has and I am trying very hard to regain it.

So looking back over the last 10 years I have….

  • Completed my diploma in Hotel Management – I graduated top of my class for all 3 years.
  • Moved to the Timbavati.
  • Moved home and started working for the bank.
  • Got married.
  • Had 2 kids.
  • Got divorced.
  • Started blogging.
  • Moved back home with my kids.
  • Organised 2 successful charity Christmas parties.
  • Offer advise almost daily to single parents who are battling with exes.
  • Paid off my debt (a few times)
  • Worked through my many issues and faced a lot of my own demons.
  • Bought a brand new car.
  • Met the man of dreams.
  • Made some amazing friends.
  • Started studying again.
  • Moved in with him and bought our very first home.
  • Fell pregnant and had a perfect baby boy.
  • Resigned from a job I thought I would never leave.
  • Started my own business.

It’s a lot of small things but added together I think I have achieved a fair amount and am actually really proud of where I am today.

I am loved and happy and have pretty much everything I want right now.

So there is no need for me to feel like I do at the moment. I just need to remind myself of where I was 10 years ago and where I want to be 10 years from now!

I won! I won! I won!

I am so super stoked – I won something. Something cool.

Check it out here.

I never win anything so winning this was uber cool. Thanks Betty :)

AND I received my second gift package from Huggies on Monday.

I follow Sam on twitter and she is the giver of all things Huggies :)

When I had Jack she sent me a huge big package with a whole load of nappies and wet wipes in.

And then advised me I was getting package number 2 on Monday – it was all their various wet wipe ranges plus the cutest tub to store them in.

I had totally forgotten how many wet wipes babies go through and we got given what I thought were loads but we are going through them at a rate of knots and I can say that the Huggies Pure ones are my favourites (they are the blue ones in the pic below). I don’t know what Cherubs have done to theirs but they are hard – really on the bottom of the list.

268018_252061851472934_169286526417134_1143951_7884204_n

On dead batteries and pumps!

Yesterday was back to school for my kids and for some reason this left me feeling extremely anxious.

Cameron couldn’t find his tie and Jack was feeding and then I went to start my car and the battery was dead! I was suddenly over whelmed! It all worked out and the kids got to school on time and the missing tie was found but it hit me that I have 3 kids and it was rather a hard whack in the face!

This morning it all went a lot smoother but I am still feeling a tad disorganised.

I blogged about my “blep” here. Well the dam thing came back leaving me in immense pain again but Tracey from Twitter saved the day and has lent me her breast pump so I can express – I was super excited to get home and express!

Just as exciting – Selena should hopefully be starting full time on the 1 August. I really can not wait.

And in other unrelated news I suddenly find blogging turning into a slight popularity contest :-/ It never used to feel like that. Is it just me or has anyone else noticed it?

Weekly Winners July 10-16

I managed to take quiet a lot of pics this week but these are some of my favourites.

On Monday we went for a walk to the shop – it was a little to far for me but it was nice to get out :)

WWKiarabike1

WWCamBike1

Cameron giving Jack some water – they fight over doing this.

WWCamJack1

Eventhough Jack isn’t really playing with toys yet they still are lying all over the house :)

WWToy1

My mom made this quilt for Jack – isn’t it so pretty :)

WWJackQuilt1

Some of Jack – the cutest baby in the world!

WWJack

WWJack1

WWJackBottle1

Even though the light in this picture isn’t right it’s my favourite.

WWKiaraJack1

Cameron slept at a friend on Friday so Kiara had her bff over :)

WWKiaraJessica1

For more weekly winners check out this post.

Gratitude in the ordinary

This week has been all about the every day ordinary stuff.

I am grateful for

  • Electricity – so I can make tea as many times a day as I want, heat our room for Jack and charge my phone.
  • My car – so I can fetch and carry my kids and get to where I need to go without planning or wondering if there will be a taxi.
  • Sweets – sweets are my downfall but they make a rough day easy.
  • My kids and their friends. Both kids have made some good friendships at school.
  • My domestic worker – she makes my life a little easier every Tuesday and Thursday.
  • The South African sun – even though it is winter here now the sun still warms.
  • Teacher Kim who runs my kids after care.

What were you grateful for this week? Check out some more gratitude here?

Even the spambots have stopped loving me

I know I haven’t been a very good blogger but a newborn will do that to you but I didn’t think you would all abandon me :-p

I am not even getting spam comments any more – I really feel so unloved *sob*

I am reading and commenting on your blogs as much as Jack will allow!!

I also realise my posts lack substance but all I want to write about is how awesome my child is and really there is only SO much of that you all want to hear :-p

So a quick round up of the week.

  • I am glad I made the kids come back from CT a week before school starts so we can slowly get back into a routine. They have been going to after care but our mornings are still very sluggish and Monday is going to be a shock for us all.
  • The chiro really did a great job and Jack is SOOO much more calmer. Pretoria moms – if you are looking for a good chiro then mail me I will send his details.
  • I am at that awkward stage now where my clothes pre-pregnancy are slightly too small but my maternity wear is too big :-/ Makes me want to stay in my pjs all day.
  • Please check out this awesome project – you may be able to help!
  • What are you doing for Mandela Day? I really want to do something but have no idea what.
  • My laptop is still broken – I am taking it in next week to be fixed. It’s such a pain.
  • We have a wedding date – the first weekend in May 2013. It feels like a lifetime away. I have no idea why I am suddenly so desperate to get married but I am.
  • In a conversation in the car this morning Cameron referred to David as his dad and would not acknowledge his bio dad at all. It speaks volumes about how he feels about David because Cameron is not one to share his emotions at all. It made me both happy and sad.
  • It was a very sad week for the Lawson family who lost Shayna – she was one of a twin and fought her little heart out for 48 days. It really is heartbreaking and there really is nothing to say :(
  • I did manage to take at least on picture most days this week so I will be doing a Weekly Winners on Sunday again!
  • A few of us on FB are organising an informal school “reunion” – our head girl sent out a message as she is organising one in London since most of our year are there now. Its hard to believe I have been out of school 15 years *shock*

And thats that – I am going to try get a few more things done before “cat nap” Jack wakes up.

PLEASE can you all leave a comment – lurkers you too and you too RM :-p

A list of 33

This post was inspired by Julia who was inspired by Marcia.

What you do is make a list of things you want to do before your next birthday – you use your age as the number of things to do. They can be big things or small things :)

So here is my list

1. Learn to sew – my mom sent up one of her old sewing machines for me so now all I need to do is learn how to use it :)

2. Finish our photo wall on the stairs. We have just started it and so far there are no pictures of Jack up so I want to get that done.

3.  Loose 10kg (the plan before baby)

4. Get back to gym at least 5 days a week.

5. Take more pictures. So much happens that I should be taking pictures of.

6. Go for more walks with the kids. We have such a lovely neighbourhood to walk around.

7. Start reading again to the kids. We used to do this every night and for some reason life got too crazy so we stopped.

8. Make Tranquil Body Treats a success.

9. Get Ladies on Lunch back up and running properly.

10. Make more time for my friends.

11. Buy at least 4 expensive items of clothing – I don’t enjoy shopping at all so I avoid it and when I do it I stick to what I know but David keeps telling me I need to buy at least one brand item and then I will be hooked. I may start with the voucher for Big Blue than Jeanette gave me :)

12. Find some pictures for our bedroom wall – I actually have the pictures in mind just need to have them printed and framed.

13.  Set a wedding date. I want to get married NOW! But I want it to be proper so have to wait but I want a date so I know what I am aiming for.

14. Get my hair done every 6 weeks. I neglect my hair terrible.

15. Make sure David and I have a proper date night at least once a month.

16. I want to have an engagement party.

17. I want to organise a proper Christmas party with my friends.

18. Try out more new recipes.

19. Get new glasses. This may sound odd but I have had these glasses for over 6 years – its time for some new ones.

20.  Carry on studying.

21. Do a family photo shoot.

22. Buy more books – even second hand ones.

Ok it has taken me ALL DAY to get these 22. So I am going to post this and add when I think of more!