Parenting

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

I love this quote – it sums up what being a parent is perfectly.

Last week when I made the appointment for Kiara with the OT I mentioned on twitter that I felt sad and a few people asked me “why sad?”

So why sad?

My child knows there is a problem – she knows SHE is the problem. She knows SHE isn’t reading like the other children. She knows SHE is not doing as well as the other children in their weekly spelling tests. She has been teased about at after care – all this makes me sad.

Singing Happy Birthday
The journey ahead for this child is a long, hard one – one I know she can make and successfully complete but for now when she should be playing she is sitting doing extra sentences, she is worrying about her tests on a Friday, she feels she is letting us down – despite our constant praise. This makes me sad.

No matter how hard we try and discourage it she sees her brother doing so well in everything he does. She doesn’t understand that he is two years older than her. She doesn’t realise that he is unable to create the imaginary worlds she does and that he battles to make up stories. All she sees is him doing better than her. This makes me sad.

It makes me sad that my child has to battle. That she has to struggle and feel less than perfect.

My heart breaks a little for each time I see her struggle with her reader.

Life shouldn’t be so tough when you are so little.

KiarabdayWW

19 thoughts on “Parenting

  1. Your post made me sad :-( Partly for Kiara, but also for Jada, because although the “problem” is not the same – she also feels less than perfect :-(

  2. I know this feeling too well and I could so relate to this post.
    All you can do is to continue to encourage her and remind her how brilliant she is in so many other ways. She will eventually get this, though it can take a bit of time.
    *hugs*
    x

  3. I meant to add that making that appointment with the OT was the 1st step towards finding a solution.

    You know my endless “battle” and roller-coaster ride with Jada’s ADHD, but there is help and she is improving (albeit not as quickly as the universe tends to expect her to) *sigh*

  4. This post makes me sad too :( My eldest also battles with concentration etc but is phenomenal at sports. My middle child came home the other day, pouting because her teachers never pick her during PT, I asked her why and she simply said, ‘Cos I suck.’ It broke my heart that I can’t fix it for her.

    That said I promptly asked her if she thinks I am cool and clever, she quickly responded the affirmative, to which I told her I also suck at sport so she must remember you don’t have to be good at sport to be awesome.

    Sometimes it is about perspective, and I am sure with a fantastic mom like you, she will in time grow to love what makes her awesome. This too shall pass and on the day she rules the people who tease her now she will be grateful for this adversity as their needling will push her to great heights and keep them stuck in mediocrity.

    I wish you love, light and much patience on your and Kiara’s journey to her one day running the country :)

    xxx

  5. I have been there – where your Kiara is now. There was no OT back in my day (lordy that makes me sound old) and it was very tough when I couldn’t read like the other children in my class, it was tough when my brother, who’s 2 years younger than me, could do my maths homework, it was tough growing up thinking I was stupid.
    But I overcame. I did it and in the end I proved to myself and everyone around me that actually I’m one smart, tough chic!
    Hang in there! I thinks sometimes these experiences are more painful for us parents!
    xxx

  6. Take heart – even though she is going through a hard time, she is learning something so valuable, something that no-one can ever take away from her and that is perseverance. In the future this will be what sets her apart from others and will make her successful against all odds.

    Maybe you should open her eyes to what she is learning, while battling through this “problem”.

  7. You know that I am struggling with these issues too – and I think with the twins it is going ot be a nightmare having one ahead of his class and the other behind. I am placing my trust in the OT to make as much as she can of it.

  8. Life should not be so hard I agree. Hugs to you both, I hope the therapy is beneficial to her and helps her cope a better.
    You are recognizing her struggles and getting help and that is one step closer to overcoming those hurdles together.

  9. Watching your child suffer is the worst!
    I am a pre school teacher and have a passion for allowing our children to feel worthy and to cultivate a genuine love for learning. In so many ways the educational system fails our kids.
    Add into the mix my 11 year old with dyslexia, he had an awful grade 2 year and had a teacher call him a bad reader in front of the class. I wanted to kill….because I knew that it would stay with him forever. We do the remedial with an amazing teacher, but I have been blown away by a book I am reading. Please read it. It will change your perception completely and give you the truth to speak into her life. Not saying your daughter has dysleia, but she sounds like such a special girl and this book talks about the wonderful qualities of these children.
    They are super intelligent, and they need to know it!
    “The Gift of Dyslexia” Ronald D Davis…..Exclusive books.
    Sorry about the essay….off my soapbox now.
    x

  10. I could have written this exact post 2 years ago..
    I was crushed when the OT pointed out all of Kami’s problems.. we didn’t see it until it was shown to us :(
    but you know what?
    2 years later.. 2 years of OT, 1 year of visual therapy and the difference in Kamika has been remarkable, truly.. and she did it all without the medication the dr wanted her on.
    so my sweets, just VASBYT!!!
    it’s going to get easier from here!
    for you and for Kiara!

    <3 <3 <3

  11. I completely understand why you are sad. I have been there a year ago. Nathan struggled, really struggled last year, and it has been an uphill battle with Annibelle doing everything and excelling in everything. OT helped tremendously, but we also started with Judo, and all of a sudden he had something he excelled in. And the combination between the two made him realise that he is just as good as his sister. Maybe not with spelling, but in his own way.

    Strongs Laura. Its NOT easy being a mother!

  12. No, life shouldn’t be hard or difficult!
    But I’m sure it is going to get easier with all the extra work?
    As long as you keep on telling her that she is worth so much more than spelling… And that she is a star on her own! (But it sounds like you arew doing the right things!)

    Good luck!

  13. ((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

    Well done to you for being such an awesome mommy. Kiara should know that she’s awesome for being unique and she just needs to tap into her other many talents. As someone said before, we can’t be great at everything.
    Life is unfair!

  14. Lawdy do I hear you Laura, LOUD AND CLEAR! My heart still aches for my knucklehead because nothing is ever easy for him…

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