Answers – part 1

There was some really great questions from this post – some of them do need their own post so I am going to answer those ones first :)

Cat asked me

I want to know if you ever regret resigning and getting your own business. Or the timing thereof?

The short answer is no and no.

BUT having said that I also want to say that it is probably one of the hardest, most stressful things I have done.

There are sleepless nights, there are tears, there is frustration, there are fights and there are mistakes made and lessons learnt.

But will I go back? NO! Knowing what I know now would I have made a different choice? NO!

When you read about starting your own business no-one says its easy. It doesn’t matter if you have millions to start with or nothing – it is hard. We knew this and were prepared for it – well as prepared as you can be doing something you have never done :)

What they do say though is that it is worth it. The hard work, the failures, the successes, the stress – it is worth it. I agree with that.

So far it has totally been worth it.

I was in such an unhappy situation where I worked. I dreaded going in every day, David was tired of hearing me be negative and complain and moan and in short be the prophet of doom. I didn’t like who I was in that office.

Now the stress is my stress and my actions directly control what happens (or doesn’t happen). I can watch my son swim – guilt free. I can take Jack to Moms and Babes. I also spend time on weekends doing marketing plans or making signs for the shop or planning give aways.

Whatever I do though – its MY choice. I don’t need to beg, plead and feel bad about asking for time off. I don’t dread working every day. I love what I do.

As for the timing – there really is no right time to do anything. Maybe I should have waited until Jack was older? Maybe I should have waited until we had more savings or until the brand was a year old and a year more established? Maybe I should have chosen another shop?

I can’t live in maybes – the opportunity was there, the shop was there – the stars were aligned in that moment for that choice and I made it.

I have not regretted it for one moment and have not for one second wished I hadn’t resigned – my only regret is I never did it sooner.

Things I know and you didn’t

Shae did this for this weeks “things I know” so I am doing it to :)

A few things I know about me that maybe you didn’t :-p

  • I can not handle oil on my skin – I love a massage but loathe having oil rubbed on me. I can handle cream but small amounts.
  • I just passed Maths in Matric – after a year in extra maths I managed 40% on higher grade – a pass is a pass right?
  • I love having my feet rubbed – I am working towards being able to have a pedicure once a week.
  • I am petrified of the dark and hospitals – still now at 33. Both cause me much anxiety.
  • I am not close with my extended family at all. We were growing up but when we grew up we grew apart.
  • I still really would love to complete my Law degree.
  • I want to do more to help those less fortunate – I have signed up to help out at Ikholwa – this has been something I have wanted to do for ages but something always comes up – no more excuses.
  • Some days parenting is too much effort and I let things slide.
  • I will only swim at gym when it is empty and no one else is in the pool.

So what do you know about me? Or about you? Or about life? Join in :)

Thursday Things

Thursday Things1

This week has again flown by – I seem to say that every week but this week has been one of those “frantic” weeks where it’s been go go go go go.

So a quick update..

  • PLEASE may you go and ask me a question over here – PLEASE.
  • Check out our awesome Limited Edition Christmas Range of products over here – really these are AMAZING and make perfect gifts and stocking fillers!
  • I am not sure if its the heat or if he is sore or just full of nonsense but Jack’s been crying a lot more than he used to lately. It’s exhausting :(
  • One of our engagement gifts were 4 little pots of herbs – I was SO excited. I planted them out yesterday and may even start talking to them so that they grow nicely.
  • I am going to make my parents a photo book for Christmas – I had much fun last night putting it together.
  • Our Christmas party is coming along very nicely – we are still short a few more gifts – so if you want to help out then please let me know.
  • The yoga studio yesterday was VERY hot and our instructor said that’s how it should be – not sure if it was because of that or where I was at but it was one of the best classes I have had since starting again.
  • I was rather shocked at the cost of my shopping trolley on Monday :-/ There were no luxury items – ok there was a Cars bowl and cutlery set for Jack and 2 pairs of R19.99 sandals for me – that’s really not likely to make it 300-400 more than it normally is.
  • I have started taking time out to do a little bit of crafting here and there and I am LOVING it! I need the creativity to help keep me centred.
  • I am doing the book swap over here and can not decide which book to send – I have a few that have touched me deeply but not sure they will have that affect on someone else?

How has your week been?

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Celeste tagged me in a Breast Cancer Awareness challenge – very nice of her – honestly would have preferred a “7 things about me” challenge but we are grown ups now so have to face these grown up issues.

I have not as yet made an appointment to have a mammogram BUT I have recently had my annual gynae check up and he does do a small check and didn’t feel a mammogram was necessary right now but I shall chat to him further when I see him next month.

You see the thing is these kinds of tests freak me out. It would appear the older I get the more I get anxious about and these types of tests are one of those things. There is a possibility the test comes back “positive” and that scares the crap out me – even though I have no signs right now and we have no family history. So my natural, grown up reaction is to just not be tested. Smart hey *sigh*

I do know how important these tests are and I will go – I do think I am a little to young for them still though which is possibly why my gynae hasn’t sent me yet.

Below are a few questions Celeste asked us to answer :)

When did you have your first mammogram? I have not had one yet.

Does anyone in your family suffer from cancer? No

Why have you not gone for a mammogram? I rely on my gynae to guide me and as yet he has not even hinted I need one – yes ok I KNOW this is head in the sand stuff.

What were your mammogram results? See above.

How bad is “going for a mammogram” on a scale of 1 to 10? I will answer these all again once I have had one.

When is your next appointment? Will let you all know when I have one :)

Do you know anyone who has had breast cancer? Not personally but have a few friends who have had friends affected.

What is my point? My point is that even though I appear a little irresponsible I do do regular checks and I understand that the only way to reduce the effects of this disease is to talk about it, make women aware of what to look for and be tested for.

Breast Cancer Awarness month is nearly finished so I am not going to challenge anyone but read here for other contributions and for an survivor story in pictures check out Jeanette’s blog!

So have you been tested? If not why not?

To you and to you and YOU

Every time we invite people over I hold my breathe on the day that they actually do arrive. I have a small fear of throwing a party and no one arriving!

Well on Saturday people didn’t stop arriving :) Old friends, new friends, friends I haven’t seen in ages, friends we didn’t expect to arrive. It really was a wonderful day.

When I was saying goodbye to one of David’s friends Leigh said to me “You have special friends, you are blessed.” She really couldn’t have been more right.

We are so blessed to have a group of absolutely amazing people in our lives.

We have old friends who are just always there – we don’t need to talk every day or see each other often but when it counts they are there.

There are blogging friends who share my life both online and in person. They are new friends who walk with me and my family – as I do with theirs.

I have a friend who has walked a similar path to me and now together we are building a business into an empire :)

Then there are friends who I have met through David and have become a part of our lives and are extremely special.

We have new friends met through the children who have become an invaluable support system.

And of course there is always Godfather Guy.

So to you and you and you – I say THANK YOU.

Thank you for sharing our day on Saturday.

Thank you for being a part of our lives.

Thank you for your friendship.

Things I know about my fiance

In honour of our engagement party tomorrow I am dedicating this edition of “Things I know” to David.

So be prepared for some cheese and unicorns and rainbows!

Things I know about my awesome man

  • He gets up at night to feed Jack (and have a small chat with him)
  • He listens patiently to Kiaras painfully long stories.
  • He knows what he wants.
  • When I ask him to please buy me sweets he arrives home with a packet full of different ones.
  • He is strong.
  • He can be a tad OCD about things.
  • He is incredible competitive – he must win – even UNO.
  • He is stubborn.
  • He will eat my cooking – even on the bad days and say it was lovely!
  • He makes me laugh.
  • He is hot.
  • He is ambitious and pushes me to do more and be more.
  • He loves me.
  • He loves my children.
  • He is an amazing father to Jack and to Cameron and Kiara.
  • He is MINE and I love him more and more every day!

So what do you know today. Join up over here.

Thursday Things

Thursday Things1

I measure my life in Thursdays at the moment :) It does feel like it is always a Thursday though.

  • I am sleeping SO much better – I still get anxious when I wake up for Jack and hear noises but at least I can fall asleep before the sun starts coming up!
  • Cameron made the A team for swimming again – he isn’t too impressed because he is the chosen back stroke swimmer and it’s not his favourite stroke.
  • I went swimming at gym last week for the first time in YEARS – it was amazing. I grew up with such a love/hate relationship to swimming that I have avoided it for years but it was great to be back in the pool.
  • My October goals list is coming along nicely.
  • I am 80% ready for our engagement party :) We still don’t have enough chairs or wine glasses but push comes to shove we will throw picnic blankets on the grass :-p
  • Jack went to the Dr today – he has a horrible cough that is really upsetting him. So he has some allergex and cough mixture – he has slept most of today.
  • Kiara is enjoying OT – part of her homework is to practise leopard crawling – you know she can not do it – she battles and battles and by the time she is done she is physically exhausted.
  • I re-organised my study and I think I have finally found a way that works AND looks pretty :)
  • I am trying to get Jack to fall asleep on his own and stay asleep for longer than 20 minutes – I think I am finally winning the fall asleep fight.

What has been happening in your world this week?

Would you do this?

I am still feeling out of sorts at the moment *sigh*

Honestly I hate being a women sometimes – the hormonal changes your body has to endure really make for challenging moments.

I came across this story today while reading Tanyas blog.

After reading through it all, all I could think to say was WHAT THE FUCK?

No really people WTF?? Go and read the link AND the link within the link to the original incident.

I agree with how the mother handled that situation and would have handled it the same way.

I read a large number of mommy blogs and a lot of these moms are open and honest about how hard it is, how sometimes they don’t “like” a child or how they may be drinking too much wine. I do it – I tweet I want to send my kids to Chinese military school or want to down a bottle of wine.

Does that now seriously put me (and the rest of you :-p) in line for visits from social services?

We often joke about it when we share the “bad” days but it appears that there are people who can make it a reality
I can not think of one mommy blogger who I read who I would even think of reporting – I have seen moms who have gotten drunk, who have shouted at, smacked, moaned about their kids. I have heard moms say many times how much they want peace and quiet. I have read about discipline methods that may not work for me but seem effective for that family.

And yet I have never felt that I need to report anyone?

If someone blogs daily how they beat their child or punished her by not allowing dinner for 2 nights or locked her in a cupboard or called her degrading names – then YES I would get involved but when a mother (and father) parent their child in the manner they see fit and the children appear to be normal, happy and well adjusted then I most certainly am not going to phone up social services.

Seriously?

Who does this sort of thing? WHY would the do it?

What are your thoughts?

Is this another downside of online life? Or is it a case of vindictive-ness?

People say the oddest things!

Just for any new readers and a refresher for old readers who don’t see me regularly – below is my family (also found here)

There is Cameron – he is 9 and his father and I are no longer together and he is coloured. (So in another words David is NOT related to him by blood)

Jackcameron

Then there is Kiara – she is 7 and has the same father as Cameron so is also coloured.

Kiara

Lastly is baby Jack – David is his dad (and I am his mom) which makes Cameron and Kiara his half siblings.

Jack

And then obviously there is David and I.

IMG_0320bw

So what is the point of this show and tell I hear you ask? Well see what is obvious to me is not so obvious to the rest of the world it appears.

I have been asked once in Cameron and Kiara’s lives if they were adopted – that’s ONCE in 7 years.

Jack is 4 months old and I have already been asked if HE is adopted once and on numerous occasions I have been asked if he is my baby.

Each time I am left speechless.

I am white – Jack is white – Cameron and Kiara aren’t so WHY would the obvious be that JACK is adopted?

The lady who said this to me saw my confusion and went on to say something along the lines of “adoption is no big deal and quiet common these days” – I am not so sure these ladies would think its no big deal but I just smiled at her and explained he was mine and walked away.

I have also been told on separate occasions by different people that Cameron and Kiara look like David – in fact someone actually said that Cameron was the spitting image of David? Really? LIKE REALLY?

Now I am not sure if people just say stuff for the sake of saying it? Or if they believe what they are saying.

It is pretty obvious when all 5 of us are together that we are not all from the same place and I honestly do not mind questions but silly comments and statements make me want to kick your shins and squish my ice cream on your forehead!

But what really prompted this post was this post by Melinda. I often find myself thinking (and saying) – well he/she gets that from you to David about something the kids have done and like Melinda when new drs ask questions about the kids I actually think about David’s side – I was aware of this when I recently completed Kiara’s OT forms and considered David’s behaviour/history.

I could actually put forward a very strong argument for the side of nurture in the whole nature vs nurture debate because I can see the older kids doing and saying and behaving more and more like David as the days go by.

Our family may not be joined to each other by blood but our bond is just as unbreakable and our love for each other just as real and lasting.

So we will suffer the stupid people’s questions for now :)