Third time round

On our way back from Cape Town while waiting for our bags one of the passengers (male) reprimanded me about Jack touching the baggage carousel.

It took every ounce of self restraint I had not let cause a huge scene with this guy. Largely, I suspect, due to the fact that I was exhausted from trying to keep Jack from destroying the aeroplane.

In the 10 years I have been a parent I have rarely been called out on my parenting. In fact I can’t remember if anyone has ever commented on my kids if they have behaved badly or said anything to me for what I allow them to do (or not do). So I was taken aback when he told me to please watch my child.

The thing is, I was watching my child BUT this child is child no 3. I am now pretty well aware of what is a real danger, what is a mild danger and what is not  danger. Jack standing next to the baggage carousel touching it as it whirled around, to me, was not a real danger. I was behind him, Cameron next to him and Kiara on the other side AND he doesn’t stand still for 2 minutes. The real danger was the cleanliness (or lack therof) of the carousel and I had a bag of wet wipes.

It is true the more kids you have the more relaxed you are, well it is for me anyway. I know that no harm will come to Jack if he screams for a bit. I know if he eats the dog pellets he will survive and that sterilising his bottles while allowing the dog to kiss him is really an exercise in pointlessness. So I let a lot of things slide with him.

I think a lot of it also has to do with the fact that time is spread so thinly that there is just no time to “over parent”. I don’t have time to over think things or decisions I make.

I am not sure if the two things are related but I am enjoying him a lot more. I only started really enjoying the older two when they were  over two but this time around I am enjoying the little things he does a lot more and actually noticing things I don’t remember noticing with the others. It does make me sad in a way but I suppose it is just life.

I do worry though sometimes that my parenting with Jack is to laid back. I was joking with my cousin a while ago that child no four will be lucky if I remember to give him a bottle or a boob.




  1. says

    My aunt has four children and she always explains it like this:

    When child one’s dummy falls on the floor, you sterilize it! When child two’s dummy falls on the floor you throw it in a cup of boiling water. When child three’s dummy falls on the floor you run it under a tap, and when child four’s dummy falls on the floor you wipe off the worst gunk on your jeans. 😉

  2. says

    It’s true. The more kids one have, the more relaxed one get regarding your kids. I can understand why you was offended by the guy telling you to watch your kid.

  3. deborah says

    I’ve only got the 2 kids and you do definately get more relaxed when the second one comes along-my son is 9 months so at a very quizzy stage of life maybe also its cos he is a boy i allow him to get dirty in the sand,play with the dogs and all that. Dont stress too much about the dude at the airport though i had a grany reprimand me for shouting @ my daughter at the shops after she had hit my shins with the trolley-i politely told the granny to allow my daughter to do the same to her and not raise her voice if i was so wrong!

  4. says

    SO very very tue. I have always felt as if I had missed out on the more relaxed parenting of the no 2 and no3 etc as the no 2 was a 2 and 3 and we just were so overloaded that we could never really relax

  5. says

    True that. I am enjoying Child2 a lot more because I know that he’s my last child. As a result, I may or may not give in too much.

  6. says

    I was a stress bunny with Ethan and I also didn’t enjoy the first two years of his life at all. I think it was a good combination of us being young, not having the experience, not sleeping and him being our first. Second time around I lapped it all up and I was definitely a lot more lenient in some ways, but more strict in others. I think we make different mistakes but in the same breath practice makes perfect too :)

  7. Ankia says

    I really hope this is a general rule that will apply to me as well because I was way too stressed out with James. I’m only relaxed now and he’s 4!!!!! Hopefully number 2 won’t have a hovering mother 24/7 😉

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