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What is sex?

I haven’t had the chat with my kids yet. I know it is slightly irresponsible and what not – I have told myself it must be done by the end of the year.

(My parents have actually never had the chat with me just so by the way.)

Cameron got a letter last week asking our permission for the Government to send a sister to come and talk to them about their bodies. I was secretly hoping she was going to give them the talk but alas she never did. Cameron was telling me today about what she did discuss with them and then I asked him if she told them about sex and this is what happened.

Me: “Did she talk to you about sex?”

Cameron (in a horrified tone) “NOOO MOM!”

Me: “Do you know what sex is Cam?”

Cameron “Yes”

Me: “What is it?”

Cameron “Kiara close your ears! It is when a man and a lady kiss a lot and I can’t say the rest”

Me: “Why? There is nothing to be embarrassed about”

Cameron “NO MOM! And why are you asking me this? Normally parents only ask kids when they are older”

Me: “Ok Kiara do you know what sex is”

Kiara: Giggles uncontrollably for about 10 minutes and then says in between giggles “It’s when 2 people kiss for a LOOOOOOOOOOOONG time”

Me: “Do you know where babies come from Kiara?”

Kiara: “Yes the doctor cuts your tummy”

Cameron: “NO! When a man and a lady have sex they make a baby”

THEN Cameron says “Mom I can hear when you and David have sex sometimes” – right about now I want to actually crawl out of my own skin but my mouth is too quick for my brain so I ask

“Really Cam what do you hear?”

Cameron “You make kissing noises”

It was at this point that my brain managed to gain control of my mouth and I started asking them about homework and what not!

 

 

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13 Responses

  1. I’ve had the talk with Megan last year(Kaylin’s still a wee bit young in my eyes). She knows exactly what goes where and why. I wasn’t embarrassed about it.

    I told it like I was telling them a story (like the three wee pigs). She did giggle and blush a lot, but I feel better that she won’t be bullshitted by her wee friends at school…

  2. I’m laughing my butt off here but actually, thinking about it, if my child says that he/she can hear us having sex I too would have wanted to crawl into a deep deep hole.

  3. Oh, my hat that is so funny. I have an awesome book on the birds and the bees if you’d like to use it. It is in comic format and Joshua actually enjoyed reading it with me.

  4. Mwahaha! oops that’s awkward.
    I think perhaps you might need to have that chat before someone else clues them in about the rest that comes with the kissing. 😉

  5. lol!!! So glad I’ve had that talk with my kids!!! (no just Zander to still go) Its amazing how many kids think kissing is sex (although by the sounds of it they know its not just that)

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