Dear Family

My dear children, I birthed you all. I know you all better than you know yourself. I know when you are scared, happy, frightened and hungry. I know what makes you anxious. I know where you happy places are. I know you!

I also know where you go to school, who your soccer coach is, who your dance instructor is and how you need your shoes to be tied. I know what I need to know to get you to where you need to be.

What I do not know, however, is where you put your shin pads when you came back from soccer. I do not know where you put your school socks after you wore them. I do not know where your Lightning McQueen car is. I do not know what your English teacher said. I also have no idea where you glasses are or where your personal diary is.


The good Lord has given you all a beautiful pair of eyes and a brain in your head! USE them to look for YOUR things or even better still – put your things in YOUR room – that way you will know where YOUR stuff is!

Despite popular belief I do not spend my days moving around just to mess with you. A part of me wishes I did have the time to do that!

I love you all more than I love dark Aero chocolate and vanilla flavoured coffee but if one of you ask me one more time where something is I am trading you all in for chocolate and coffee!

PS – please tell your father that the same applies to him!


  1. Mrs FF says

    Thank you for giving me a much needed good laugh! 😆 😆

    And yes someone needs to tell the hubby too! I don’t know how many times I’ve got calls asking me where x or y is even when I didn’t know anything about the thing in question

  2. says

    I’m going to make a ‘where is my’ jar. Everytime someone starts a sentence with “Where is my … XYZ” then 50p is going in the jar from the offending ‘loser of stuff’.

  3. says

    Hahaha! I had such a laugh at this, thanks. I feel your pain. N picks up random rocks and twigs everywhere abd expects me to keep track of them all…and she rwally can tell the difference between them. Right this moment there is a stick on my bedside table whose name is snoopy and who I’m told resembles a goose.

  4. deborah says

    I normally respond with “xyz is where ever you left it” With regard to being the encyclopedia for lost things I am also not the dr that can answer where the fever/high temp came from us moms may have given birth to the children but we werent given a secret book for moms to know all the answers to any nag or niggle the kids may have.

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