A lot of fellow bloggers have stopped blogging all together or stopped blogging about their kids the older they get. I totally understand that but I am finding there is so much more to blog about Cameron than the younger three at the moment. I am trying to keep it more to how I feel and how I am reacting rather than sharing his story.
Cat wrote yesterday about how the stage will pass when her child will hug her in front of everyone, and a few other things. The older my kids get and we pass from one stage to another, the more I am realising how parenting changes and for me, gets so much better.
As you know by now we had a big gala this weekend.Cameron spent most of the time with his team or strategising with his coach. After every race, he would head straight to his coach to do a quick post mortem and get his time if we missed it. Despite this, he (and all the other kids actually) always looks for me (or David).
There may not be cuddles on laps or long hugs or public displays of affection but there is still a very real connection that our kids have to us, even as they grow up. The moment his name was announced for the finals on Sunday, he stood up to head to his coach but not before he had caught my eyes and smiled the hugest smile ever. It is like the pre-teen version of a toddler hug.
I suppose you never really know whats around the corner when it comes to parenting so we mourn the loss of cuddles, little hands holding ours, loud little voices saying “I love you mom!”. We mourn the loss of our children’s innocence in a way but I don’t think we should because what lies ahead is actually, for me, much better.
Of course we miss the physical closeness of hugs and cuddles but let me tell you something – the moment your child seeks out your eyes and finds them – it is a moment that is as powerful as any hug. It is my child being confident enough to be on his own, to compete, to achieve, to be a part of something separate to me but still needing to know I am there.
That really is what being a parent is, isn’t it? Don’t we still phone our mom when stuff goes wrong? Or need to know they are there when we get married?
We are separate but always connected!
17 Responses
“but not before he had caught my eyes and smiled the hugest smile ever. It is like the pre-teen version of a toddler hug.” – that says it all…doesn’t it?
I am very fortunate that my two boys (both in their 30’s are very physical where it comes to showing love…and there is nothing that beats a hug by a gorgeous young man that once grew inside of you. Bianca is different…she is not a touchy feely person like the rest of us…but she has other little ways of showing her love…it would be a meal well prepared…a chocolate left on my computer keyboard or pillow. As the years go on it is something that gets deeper and more beautiful. I cherish that.
Lynette Jacobs recently posted…Rockabilly Girl – CREATE
Oh Laura, what a beautiful reply to my post. Thanks for this – I am a bit teary today – am missing my big girl that is on a long camp on her own for the first time
cat@jugglingact recently posted…Bats, balls and ballet shoes
Cat I find this stage with Cameron very emotional to be honest.
The advantage for me of reading your blog is something like this. Knowing that they’ll get bigger and still need you helps make some things seem less scary*, thank you Laura.
*I recently got told, one day you put them down and you never pick them up again. It just killed me hearing that, even though that’s year away.
Cassey Toi recently posted…TED Thursday: The good news about PMS
Cassey people don’t realise it just changes – you don’t loose them, your relationship just changes. That’s not a bad thing. To be honest I think what Cam and I have now is better than what we had when he was a toddler and I was still picking him up.
that is beautiful! I love that they seek you out in the crowd.
PS I’m hanging onto those hugs and kisses as long as I can 🙂
Marcia (123 blog) recently posted…First term feelings on the big school thing
We have lots of affection in our home so I hope that as they get older there will still be lots of hugs and kisses. Thank you for the reminder to treasure that face seeking me out in a crowd. You are right, that is and will always remind me that I still have a place in their hearts no matter how big they are. Thank you!
Anthea O’Neill recently posted…Talking to your child about puberty and sex
Pleasure Anthea 🙂 It is a very special time for him and I – I feel closer to him now than when he was younger
I hear you on this one! These days we high five when I say goodbye at school, I miss those cuddly hugs, but I love that we have developed a wink that says it all 🙂
chevslife recently posted…Midnight Meltdowns
That’s just it – the secret signals are almost more special than they hugs!
I hope we can find a way to be close when my tot grows into a lumping bit tween, Or, alternatively that I find a way to halt the aging process in him….and me.
#bigfatlinky
Mama, My Kid Doesn’t Poop Rainbows recently posted…Sensory play…for the Mama.
Its not an exact science – I have no idea if it will be the same with the younger three – I can hope though 🙂
Things change but not always for the bad. And the way we show each other we love them and care changes but it doesn’t mean we love them less. It’s the seeking out in the crowd, the little tap on the shoulder etc that make a big difference
Mrs FF recently posted…Just Another Not so {SILENT SUNDAY)
Aw how lovely. I do really hope my boys continue in some way. Thanks for linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky
martyn recently posted…An Afternoon Adventure
I loved this post. I do hope though that my kids will always want to hug me (even if it’s a secret hug out of friends sight) as I love hugs best!
xxx
Sam recently posted…Shifts…
This is such a special post. I think relationships change and grow over time and it’s the same for kids.
Heather recently posted…Energy Management for Kids
Love this post.