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5 Things you should consider before becoming a stay-at-home-mom

5 Things to consider before becoming a stay at home mom

The decision to become a stay at home mom is not one that should ever be taken lightly. It is a life changing decision that has far reaching effects for your you, your partner, your relationship and your children.

I sort of ended up here when our plans didn’t work out as we would have liked, it is not always easy but it works for our family.

Every parent, working or not, wants to spend more time with their children but there are a few more things you need to consider before making the decision to stop working.

  1. Is your husband on board! Becoming a SAHM is going to change the dynamic of your relationship with your partner so make sure he is fully on board with your decision. It is not really purely about the fact that he will now be the sole breadwinner, there is more to the dynamic of the relationship that money. Talk about it with your partner until you are both comfortable that staying at home is the best decision for your family to make. 5 Things to consider before becoming a stay at home mom (1)
  2. Figure out the finances. If you stay at home there are a few things you can cut back on like a domestic, after care, petrol etc. Make sure that going into it you will be ok financially and if possible start saving the second you are thinking about staying at home. We actually put my entire salary 3 months before I actually resigned. We were able to see, realistically if we could live off David’s salary and meant we had a cushion. For most of us, staying at home will come with financial sacrifices, prepare yourself for this because as your children get older, these sacrifices increase. 
  3. You need a support structure. I am not referring to family help or a domestic but rather a circle of fellow SAHM’s who you can get out and about with. Staying at home becomes very lonely very quickly. Once you emerge from the haze of the first 6 weeks you will remember you need adult interaction. Unless you are lucky enough to have all your friends pregnant at the same time as you or are friends with the SAHM’s in your child’s class, you are going to need to make an effort with this. Join a Moms and Babes group, initiate get together’s with moms you know in your area. 5 Things to consider before becoming a stay at home mom (2)
  4. Are you doing it for the right reasons. Why do you want to stay at home? Is it to escape a bad job? Or to ease your mommy guilt? Or because you think you are going to have the most perfect pinterest life? Is your partner pressurising you? The realities of staying at home are not always in line with the pictures painted in the media. Think long and hard about why you want to do it because if its not for the right reasons, you will very quickly start resenting the decision and it won’t benefit anyone.
  5. Is it a long term/short term plan? Do you want to stay at home indefinitely or only while your child is small? You need to consider this in relation to your career. It is harder to reintegrate into the business world once you have taken time off, there is no getting around this so you need to consider this. Will you find work easily after taking a few years off? Or is your industry rapidly changing and even 2 years will mean you are worlds behind?5 Things to consider before becoming a stay at home mom (3)

If you are thinking about becoming a stay at home mom, do your research, not on Pinterest but talk to real moms who are staying at home. Find out the realities, challenges and rewards. Go into it with your eyes wide open because if you don’t the white picket fence can very quickly become jail bars!

For me, staying at home has been a journey, not always an easy one. Some months there is nothing more to sacrifice and most days I feel completely defined by my children. I never imagined I would find myself here when I imagined my life but here I am and it works for us, as a family. 

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3 Responses

  1. Number 2 and 5 were things I hadn’t fully considered. Although my career before having K wasn’t going anywhere. In fact I’d say it’s going better now. It does seem we’re going for long term by default, mostly because I’m picking up my post grad studies again.
    Cassey recently posted…#LuisterMy Profile

  2. I left my full time job in anticipation of starting a family. I wanted to settle into being a work from home mom before the baby arrived. I love the idea of saving your entire salary in advance to see if you can survive without it. Wish I’d thought of that before hand.

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