Who is thanking the men?
We are currently in the middle of our 16 Days of Activism for No Violence against Women and Children campaign.
I have grown up with abuse. My grandparents on both sides were in abusive relationships. I had physical and emotional abuse growing up. My marriage was abusive. I am no stranger to abuse.
I have blogged about the abuse in my marriage and I have blogged aboutwhy women stay.
The posts that are doing the rounds seem to be focusing alot on the men who abuse. The men who beat women, berate them, disrespect them. I suppose it is to be expected. The aim of the campaign is to raise awareness around abuse and no better way to do that then focus on the abuse itself.
But what I have noticed in the comments is that men, the good ones are feeling a little unsettled about all this negative publicity. They are feeling under-valued and not appreciated and you know what I dont blame them.
So instead of going on about the seriousness of abuse and berating men for not doing enough, I am going to keep in line with the thanksgiving theme of the last few days and say thank you.
Thank you to the men who open doors. To the husbands who go to work everyday to jobs they hate to provide for their families. To the single fathers who show up every second weekend, the ones who pay maintenance. To the fathers who get up for midnight feeds and make tea without being asked. To the boyfriends who listen, respect and honour every day. To the brothers who support. To the friends who pick up the phone at 2am in the morning.
To the men who walk away when all they want to do is stay and fight. The ones who remember to call to say they are going to be late. The ones who make the bed. The ones who cook dinner even when they dont know how. To the ones who run out in the rain to open the gate for her.
There are good men out there. Men who have morals and standards, who know right from wrong and fight every day through their actions for good.
I know many of these men. They are husbands and boyfriends and fiances and brothers of my friends. I am lucky enough to call one of them my boyfriend.
To these men I say thank you. Thank you for being proper. Thank you for not becoming a statistic and for not making your partners statistics.
Today I challenge you all to say thank you to the good men in your life.
I have more to say about this over here
December 1st, 2009 at 6:29 am
Thank you to those men… you’re right we tend to forget
December 1st, 2009 at 7:39 am
[...] I say Thank You [...]
December 1st, 2009 at 8:48 am
Lovely post Laura, we do tend to forget as Jeanette mentioned. Sometimes I think we even take them for granted. I love this whole “thanks giving” thing you have on the go with your friends. We should all remember to give thanks daily ……
December 1st, 2009 at 8:51 am
All men are by no means created equal.
December 1st, 2009 at 9:24 am
I love you for remembering those of us who will not beat their wives in the 16 days or ever no matter how much they deserve it…..
Seriously Thank you, from a non abuser.
December 1st, 2009 at 12:05 pm
“There are good men out there.”
December 1st, 2009 at 1:14 pm
So important to remember the good men out there! You’ve said it so well!
December 1st, 2009 at 3:58 pm
This post is very true. I too was in a very emotional and at times physical abusive marriage and now being with a man that I trust with all my heart that he would never hurt me like that is huge. There are men out there that do treat women right… the key is finding them. I too have found mine and I am thankful for him every single day.
Learning to trust a good guy after an abusive relationship is so hard to do. I am learning every single day.
December 1st, 2009 at 4:35 pm
You know it! I love this post. AMEN!
December 1st, 2009 at 10:01 pm
Thank you for this post.
December 2nd, 2009 at 2:47 am
Thank you for the thank yous! I know there are abusive men out there, and I’ve met a few abusive women. But there are also loving people in loving relationships. We all deserve to find the good ones.
December 2nd, 2009 at 6:40 am
Good post, I agree men should not be lumped together and labeled ‘bad’.
Another point to consider is that even with abusive people, it can, and often is situational, the dynamic of THAT relationship may be abusive, but those SAME 2 people could have good and functional relationships with people they are more compatible with and which combine to a less volatile result… just my observation.
December 2nd, 2009 at 6:41 am
Jane – I agree with that 110% – I see it with my ex now!
December 3rd, 2009 at 11:42 am
well said Laura, there are so many good men that need to be valued and thanked. I am off to thank a few right now.
December 4th, 2009 at 8:56 am
I am lucky to have been blessed with such a man!
December 6th, 2009 at 11:42 pm
This brought a tear to my eye. Beautiful, thanks for sharing.