Harassed Mom

It is Christmas morning and I am in Cape Town:)

I flew down last night to surprise David – its the proper girlfriend in me. (Thanks Guy for your help – you are a super star)

Truth be told there was no possible way I would have coped today without the most important people in my life near me.

As a result of the last minute plans I more than likely won’t be posting until I get back on the 4th January! It will be the first time I have gone this long without posting but David and I need the time out. I need the time out!

Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas with the ones you love the most!

Be safe. Eat. Love. Laugh and make memories we can blog about next year!

• My kids arrived home yesterday. I missed them terribly. They seem to have had a lovely time though. They were spoiled rotten by my very large family (Ayoba)
• We are going out for lunch today – just the 3 of us left in the office and my boss! I am actually rather looking forward to it.  (Ayoba)
• The children seem to be definitely going to their dad for Christmas. (NOT Ayoba)
• My mom had a small moan at me for not picking up the dog poop to put in the bins that are collected on a Tuesday. (not Ayoba)
• I have 2 more working days left of the year (Ayoba)
• David and I are a little miserable – we miss each other a lot. (not Ayoba) But he does seem to be having fun with his family (Ayoba)
• Kiara got one of these bears from my family in Germany. Her one isnt on this site but its so very cute. His name is Edgar and he has a cute Christmas hat on. (VERY Ayoba)
• According to my boyfriend I have many many subscribers (Ayoba) but alot of you don’t comment (not Ayoba) so please leave a comment. I want to hear from you. (Ayoba)
• I think I am getting sick I felt so crap yesterday. (not Ayoba)
• All my Christmas gifts are wrapped. (Ayoba)
• I still need to buy something for my parents – not sure WHAT though (not Ayoba)

For my overseas readers who are wondering what Ayoba means – I have no idea but everyone is saying it :-p

I started last year buying a fancy Christmas decoration. I found some lovely ones at the Irene Market last year.

It was one of the reasons I wanted to go again this year to find another one.

And I wasnt disappointed. I found a stall that sells Jim Shore designed figurines and ended up buying this.

Isnt it simply beautiful. I think my mother was ready to whack me I said so many times how pretty it was.

They also had, in this stall the most amazing Eeyore figurine. If I knew it was totally irresponsible to spend money on something of no real use I would have bought it.

I would be happy to find this and this alone under the Christmas tree.

Being Brazen asks questions on her blog every now and then and since I had no post for today I decided to steal her questions and make a whole blog post about it.

You can pop over to her and answer the questions or answer them here or do whatever you want to do really!

1. Today I feel… tired. Got home late after the 27 Dinner  - well late for a week night :-p

2. This week…Has been crazy. Work is insane and it seems people have all gone insane!

3. Last night…I went to the 27 Dinner and it was lovely. The venue was 100000 times better than FTV. The food was nice, the service was good (well done to Primi) and the company spectacular. Always nice to spend time with Angel, Neels and Jeanette AND of course my boyfriend – who I have to tell you all is very sick Jeanette has some pics up already –  go see them there is a very cute one of me and Plane Boy (you have to leave a comment to that effect too)

4. Lately the song stuck in my head is… “Arms wide Open” Creed

5. Whats your favourite pet memory? I had a cat once when I was much younger – like 3/4. I loved her. Her name was Nikki. We went everywhere together – well as much as any cat would allow you to take her everywhere! I dont have one specific memory of her – just that I loved her.

6. What is currently at the top of your Christmas wish list? Gosh I dont know! I REALLY want a Blackberry but realise its never going to happen. So maybe second is pyjamas cos I really dont have any right now but a watch would be so super cool.

I have made a post over at Female2Female regarding a Christmas Party I am organising for a Childrens home!

Please go and read it if you are in Joburg and mail me to get involved! All we need is R100!

GO GO GO!

Christmas in our house has always been a special time. My mom always made a huge effort.

There was a tree, decorations, food, family and gifts. We always did a hot dinner on Christmas eve and then ate left overs on Christmas day. It was either spent with my moms family or at my dads but there were always lots of people and lots of fun.

We were left to beleive in Father Christmas till we were pretty big. In fact, in many ways I still do beleive in Father Christmas!

We were taught that Christmas is about magic and fantasy. It is about family and love. It is about hope and beleiving in something you can not see.

I desperately want my kids to remember Christmas like I did. I want them to have the traditions that I did. The laughter that I did. The hope that I still do have.

I think so far I am doing ok with it. We always have fun. There is always too much food and lots of laughs.

But it makes me so sad when I hear people talking about Christmas in a way that isnt positive. People who I am close to who do not celebrate Christmas, who do not want to celebrate Christmas, who do not exchange gifts with their loved ones, who do not beleive in Father Christmas.

Am I naive and idealistic to want to keep the magic of Christmas alive for my kids – and for me? Is it just a chance to make money? Is it another chance for children to demand things and guilt their parents into spending more money than they have? Is it just a waste of time?

I am a little sad today – not for me – I had a good day yesterday but for all those people who stopped beleiving.

Today was a good day!!

Last night Ansie smsed me asking if we wanted to come around. So off we went. Kids watched movies and eventually fell asleep and we sat outside talking. It was a really cool too-much-wine kinda talk. We got rather philosophical and then laughed about it all. It was good!

I went to pilates this morning and we ended the class to a few songs of Johnny Clegg - it was awesome. This music is just so South African and the beat is amazing!

Then I dropped the kids at home and went shopping. I dont generally like shopping but I had to go today. I had 2 Christmas parties, 4 birthdays and some normal chores to get done.

And I managed to get everything done – which included – gifts for 2 Christmas parties for my kids, gifts for a Christmas party for Ansies 3 boys, a gift for a little orphan for Ansie as part of Natashas Kringle Elves, 4 birthday gifts, a baby shower gift and a gift for my moms secret buddy.

I also managed to sneak in 2 new tops for me and my very first pair of sunglasses (which were R89.99 but ended up being R39.99 when I paid AND I got a free case with them).

I found the perfect gift for Cameron for Christmas – the Educational Toy Shop has this very cool “build and launch a rocket” set and a “build the solar system” set. A rocket was actually on his list so I am very chuffed!

The plan was to make pina conalada cupcakes for the party tomorrow but our oven died today! So now I have a tin of pineapples and a tot of rum starting at me! But I am so tired I am not THAT upset I dont have to make them!

I managed to pack the teacher helper gifts – my aunt sent up buckets of home-made biscuits with my dad last week so I packed some nicely for them – it really looks very nice!

My mom is busy with the teachers gifts – I got a pack of towels from Pick n Pay that were on special – R49.99 for a face cloth, hand towel and bath sheet. The kids each chose a picture for my mom to embroider on – so they will be done tomorrow!!

Kids and I ended the day in the pool. The water was HOT. It was freaky actually. But we had fun!!!

Now everyone is exhausted. Kiara is sleeping on the chair next to me and Cameron has just told me he is going to bed – and its only 18h30.

Today was a good day!

I was exhausted when I got home but it was really really good. I managed to come in R500 under budget too – which was best off all!

I don’t miss having a man around the house to do manly stuff like changing plugs or fixing my car – I have figured that stuff out and have friends I can call if need be!

I don’t even really miss having someone to co-parent with. I like that I can make a decision and not have someone to debate with or argue with about! Its my way!

What I do miss though, especially at the moment. Is having someone to share the financial responsibility. Now it may sound shallow but I do not need a man for money! Right now my kids are fed, housed and clothed.

What I would like to be able to do is to off load some of the worry about money to someone else! To half the stress of worrying how bills are going to be paid. How uniforms are going to be bought. How Santa is going to find things to leave under the tree.

I am going through a really tough time financially – as we all are – I know!

But right now it doesn’t look like I am going to be able to afford Christmas gifts for the kids. Yes my folks will get them stuff and they will never go without but Cameron notices these things. Two years ago I could not afford a birthday gift for him – my mom bought him loads of stuff. He STILL asks me about it. He still reminds me to please get him a gift for his birthday from me! It breaks my heart!!!!

I have had to pay over half my salary for their school stuff next year and still don’t have Camerons uniform yet! I need to get gifts for the teachers and teacher helpers. I need to pay my registration for next year. They need gifts for their school Christmas party next week. I have 2 birthday parties coming up – both children who mean a lot to both me and my kids. So not going is not an option! I still owe my mom money and I know she is cool about it but still I owe her the money!

Its getting me down. I even asked Mr Ex – who very nicely told me he is unable to help because I wont sign the settlement (I am not sure where else I am supposed to sign – the dotted lines ALL have my signature on) so he has to pay lawyers bills (and lets not forget the trip overseas which really is so much more important that his childs education). YES I am a little pissed and possible a lot resentful right now!

So right now it would be so nice to have someone who I can say “ok you worry about the school stuff I will sort the rest”

I am seriously going to put my faith in the magic and hope that is Christmas and send Santa a letter!