I know its Thanksgiving weekend and I know I should be feeling the love and be thankful but I have had a crap week.
But go check out Morgans blog - she has a list of things I am thankful for and a few other single parents lists.
Pisceshanna called me a drama-magnet Aries in one of her comments to me (probably after a week like this past one) and well she hit the nail on the head and at the moment I feel like the QUEEN drama-magnet Aries.
I realise I am dramatic. I acknowledge it! I own it! And every other self help phrase that shows I am aware of my dysfunction. Personally, however, I do not see this as a negative thing. I am what I am and it is what it is. I am dramatic. I am a drama queen.
But this week was one of those weeks that I really could have done with a little less drama.
Oddly enough Monday was about the calmest, most uneventful day but did end with the start of a little bit of a moment with Mr Sexy – which overflowed to Tuesday. Basically we had plans which had to be cancelled. I was a bit of a brat about it and sent a rather loaded email. I was upset and annoyed and in hindsight probably shouldnt have said some of the things I did but it was done. What really annoyed me more about the entire debacle was not that the plans had to be cancelled as much as the avoidance of the questions I asked and acknowledging pretty much everything I said. Being a drama queen – I need to be acknowledged. I just need to know you heard me – he didnt do that. I had questions I needed to be answered – they were important to me – he glossed over them in a particularly annoying dismissive way.
I am not really surprised. I have a knack for choosing men who are emotionally closed and unable to communicate constructively. So I am not going to push it. But maybe sometimes it would be nice for someone to realise that while I accomodate your need to not talk, it would maybe be nice for you to accomodate my need to talk!
Then I attended parents evening on Tuesday evening. It was just for Kiara as we get all Camerons stuff at his graduation next week. She is doing really really well. The report was brilliant BUT the teacher is concerned that she refuses (not doesnt know REFUSES) to tell them her fathers name, where she lives or my phone number (and a few other details). She just stares at them when they ask her. And she has done this all year! So its a problem and she knows the answers. She told me on the way home. But still I am not too concerned right now about – the report was excellant over all.
I had bought them advent calendars and when she realised she couldnt open hers that evening she crossed over to the dark side – complete with tantrums of the “I-will-throw-myself-on-the-floor-and-attempt-to-fake-a-fit” kind, yelling, screeching, scratching and generally savage like behaviour. I went to pilates and my mom calmed her and put her to bed. But it was not to be the end. She woke 4 times before 12h30 – when she wet the bed and joined me in my bed. She tossed and turned for ages, fell asleep and then wet my bed too!
Wednesday morning was not without drama either. Cameron decided the dark side looked fun and crossed over as I was leaving school. He burst into tears, clung to me and sobbed. He had been mis-behaving which was about to result in a little girl possible getting hurt so both the teacher and I reprimanded him. Eventually the teacher had to pry him rather forcefully from me.
Wednesday afternoon was horrible. I collected them from school and they started fighting as we were leaving. Camerons teacher attempted to control the situation but came up short too. Cameron was angry. His anger intensified and there was slamming of doors, hitting, pushing, throwing things and yelling. It was not nice at all. We managed to calm him down eventually but it was not fun. And again madam didnt sleep too well – woke up 4/5 times before joining me and again wetting both her bed and mine!
Yesterday morning Cameron again launched into his sobs and clung to me. Again the teacher had to pry him off me. Its a really nice, calm way to start the day!
In between all this I had to get work done too. And it appears my boss also saw the appeal in the darkside and spent tues and wed shouting at me. She doesnt generally raise her voice – she did this week. And the worst thing is is that she is expecting me to have answers for a team I dont run. A team I can run and run well but a team that has its own team leader. YES I agree its in a mess. YES I am doing what I can to fix it. But NO I cant explain to you WHY it reached the point it did!
Yesterday was particularly bad – she started attacking my team. And I take great offence to that. I have 4 ladies who work in my team – all of them put in more of there fair share. They all work late. They all go beyond what is expected and do not complain or moan about it. And yet she saw fit to attack them today based on the word of the most irresponsible, unreliable staff members we have. I was livid!
And on top of it all – I am sick. Not going to go into detail but I feel crap – really crap!
It all just got too much and I cried the entire way home yesterday afternoon. When I got home I had a glass of wine and was eternally thankful I have my mother. She fetched the kids early, swam with them and did what grannies do and they were pretty calm when I arrived home!
Today is FRIDAY! I more than likely have a meeting with my boss this morning, in which I am sure she will re-count the many conversations we have had this week. So I am really very excited about that!
But it is still FRIDAY and I am thankful for that!
