One of the things I fear the most.

When you become a parent you suddenly fear so many more things than you did before you had children. The world suddenly seems a very scary, fearful place.

I have many fears for my children. I fear many things like spiders and snakes and being in front of a truck when it’s brakes fail and dying to early and thunderstorms and dark corners.

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But ones of the things I fear the most is loosing David – not in the literal sense, like he dies but in the sense that he is no longer a part of my life.

I have seen the ugly side of relationships – the abuse, the manipulation, the hurt, the resent, the ugly – both first hand and through friends. It doesn’t matter how happy you are right now or how much you promise things – nothing is guaranteed. Stuff happens whether you want to or not.

While the idealist in me believes that we will be together forever, a small part of me carries the past with me and this is something I fear!

Together with this and probably a bigger fear is that we both stop feeling the way we do now. Our relationship is still relatively new in the greater scheme of things but 5 years on and David still takes my breath away. I still look at him and think he is the sexiest man in the world. I still want to spend every second of every day with him. I still get excited when we have a date night, even if we don’t go anyway. He is the first person I phone ALWAYS (even when it annoys him). He is my person and I never ever want to stop feeling that and I never want him to stop feeling that.

There is much in the world to make us afraid.  There is much more in our faith to make us unafraid.  ~Frederick W. Cropp

What is one thing you are afraid of?

(From the collection of photos it is blatantly clear I need to do something with my hair)

 

On anniversaries

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Yesterday David and I were married a year.

It doesn’t feel like a year. I can’t think back to life without him in our lives. We have managed to pack so much into the almost 5 years we have been together that it feels so much longer. I said to David on Saturday night that I long for a calm, peaceful year with no hospital visits, no life changing events – just calm.

I was thinking back over the past year and while a good marriage requires hard work from both parties, there are other people involved to. Our family and friends have all contributed to our relationship it many ways. There are the friends who I have messaged at 2h00 in the morning, who replied. There are parents who talk us through changing a light fitting. There are grannies who send keepsakes from days gone by. There are friends who baby sit and help fetch kids. There are moms who full up petrol tanks now and then. There are friends who never say no to a coffee date.

Our relationship doesn’t depend on these people, we don’t need them to make us work but having the support of our amazing friends and family makes life a little easier and a lot brighter.

So while David and I celebrated with a quiet dinner at home (with no kids), I would like to say thank you to both our families and all our friends who are sharing this journey with us.

Thank you for the messages, the emails, the glasses of wine, the braais, the unexpected gifts, the holidays, the advice, the support.

Thank you for being a part of our life.

News Years Inspiration – My word

I joined this blog challenge over at Another Girly Blog and I nearly missed the deadline with all our holidaying and what not but here it is.

My inspiration for the year ahead.

My word. I actually wasn’t planning a word for this year but this one kind of found me on old years eve and so here I am – accepting things. When I told Julia she said to me “This means lots of biting your tongue” – indeed it does but it also doesn’t mean becoming a doormat . To me it means, accepting the things I can not change, making peace with them and learning to deal with them.

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My second inspiration for the year is my family. I want to focus more this year on the 6 of us as a family – being together more, doing stuff together as a family and not simply getting through the day and racing through the weekends.

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Here’s to you, 2013

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way. Charles Dickens

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I love this quote. I have mentioned it a few times on this blog and every time I think back on a year it springs to mind. Some years are better than others in general but at times, it does feel like it was the best year and the worst year at the same time. We make smart choices and we make stupid choices. Isn’t it how life is? Sometimes really good, we feel in control and then it’s not so good and we loose control.

If I look back over 2013, it was a good year.  It was the year I married the only man I have ever really and truly loved and it was a magical day. Definitely one of the best days of my life.

It was also the year we took a huge stride forward with Kiara. We aren’t out of the woods just yet but it has gotten so much easier and she is in a much happier place now.

Those two things are probably the highlights of the year. Both had a significantly positive  impact on our lives.

There were a collection of smaller moments that together contributed to it being a good year.

  • Jack started school.IMG_2013
  • Cameron had another great academic year at school.
  • I had a great blogging year.
  • I visited my parents twice.
  • David and I had a great honeymoon in Zanzibar.
  • I met some bloggers I have been friends with for ages for the first time.
  • We bought a new car.
  • I had a great health and fitness year.

But with the good there are always challenges – David’s overseas travel increased, which is great for his career but does add strain, not only to the family as a whole but also to our relationship (one of my main love languages is quality time), money issues, work issues for David, a few family issues.

There were times it felt like for every step we took forward, something happened and we fell 2 steps back. In the relatively short time David and I have been together we have had some really tough times, not really in 7.5x10our relationship but more in dealing with life. We both keep waiting for it to get easier. Hopefully that’s what 2014 is going to be about.

After all is said and done though it was a awesome year. I have an amazing family who, once again, showed their support and love for us. I have an incredible husband who makes me so incredibly happy. I have 3 perfect children who make everyday an adventure. I have a small group of wonderful friends.

I am blessed.

Even when the days are long and the times are tough – I am blessed. I have love. I have support. I have happiness.

I had an excellent year.

So here’s to a great 2013 and an even better 2014.

 

2013 – A year in review

I have been battling to write my year in review post – there is lots to say but I am in full holiday mode and I have discovered the series Suits so I am battling to focus.

This one will have to do for now – hopefully between now and tomorrow I can come up with something a little more meaningful.

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1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?

Reviewed a car (actually a few). Never thought I would do that.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? 

I can’t really remember if I had resolutions but I did have a word and I think I did stick to it for the most part although I would have liked more creating.

3. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?

With my family at the dam – I am not expecting to make it to midnight though but I have my some of my favorite people around me and that’s all I need.

4. Did anyone close to you die? 

No

5. What countries did you visit?IMG_6950

Zanzibar

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?

More organisation and money!

7. What date from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

4 May – the day I married the first man I have  loved!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Doing as much gym as I did – definitely was the year I got the fittest I have been.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Probably not taking more advantage of opportunities that came my way.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Nope

11. What was the best thing you bought?

IMG_6913Technically I didn’t buy it but our bus is without a doubt the best purchase of the year.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Kids! Bills! Food!

13. What song will always remind you of 2013?

The Book of Love – Peter Gabriel

14. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Spent more time with my friends.

15. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying about things that I couldn’t change.

16. What were your favourite TV shows?

New Girl, Blue Bloods, Criminal Minds and now Suits

17. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Nope!

18. What was the best book you read?

The Pursuit of Happiness.

19. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I don’t really discover music – my grooveshark play list is full of old music I enjoy.IMG_5165

20. What was your favourite film of this year?

Nothing really sticks out? I enjoyed Thor but not sure it was the best I watched this year.

21. What did you do on your birthday?

We went out for dinner with friends.

22. What kept you sane?

My husband.

23. Who did you miss?

My family especially our family in the Cape.

24. Who was the best new person you met?

I am trying to think of the people I met this year and 2, Julia and Shayne come to mind but they weren’t new – I just hadn’t met them until this year.

25. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013:

  • Boundaries are VITAL for successful relationships with every single person in your life.
  • Communication is just as vital – when it’s hard then it is even more vital.
  • Sugar is EVIL – pure evil!

 

Merry Christmas and all that!

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It is all over so quickly isn’t it? We wait all year for the time with family and friends, we plan menus, write lists, save, book holidays, spend hours wrapping, putting elves on shelves and then it’s over! The turkey is eaten, the gamon flattened and the roast potatoes fought over!

We had such a lovely Christmas Eve with my family. There was much over indulgence and delicious food. We ate, drank and IMG_2476were merry. The kids went to bed, reluctantly and Santa delivered bags of gifts! There were 4 happy little people on Christmas morning.

Then we packed the car – let me tell you how much stuff you can fit in an H1 – 4 bicycles, 3 golf bags, 5 suitcases of varying size, a dolls house (still in the box), a cricket bag, gym bag, a box of Christmas gift, 3 kids, 2 adults and a few extra bits and pieces shoved in all the open spots! We arrived in Villiersdorp over an hour after packing the car to the most perfect house! We had hardly unpacked and the kids were at the dam on the boat soaking up the sunshine. David’s aunt and uncle fed us the hugest lunch ever! Really there was food and more food! We ate some more. It was glorious!

And now we chill some more. The presents have all been opened, the main meals of the season have been prepared (and eaten) – all that is left now is to soak up the sun and enjoy the last week of our holiday!!!

I say it every time I come here but I love being here. I have only the happiest of memories here and each time we are here we make more. My kids love it, they spent time outside, in the glorious sunlight, swimming, playing golf, just being kids. It is so great. It is even greater being together as a family, relaxing and ignoring real life for a little bit.

How was your Christmas Day?

Such fun in the sun

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So I have decided to stop the blog challenge – I am not one to count comments but I do like one or two on my posts and lately I am getting none and it does nothing for my fragile ego. Normal transmission will resume as of today and I will blog when I can – no content is better than bad content!

A quick update on whats been going on with us.

  • We have been napping – a lot. Most days the kids sleep for 2-3 hours and if we can we try nap with them. Today David and I had a glorious 3 hour nap with Jack. Such a treat.
  • My mom has been so great with the kids – they have been doing crafts almost every day – making all sorts of Christmas things. It’s almost like our Pinterest craft board came alive.
  • Jacks been acting up a little but I think it is a combination of his teeth and being out of his routine. IMG_2432
  • This 3rd trimester is kicking me in the butt. I have aches and pains all over!!! So frustrating because I want to be doing stuff with the kids and my mom but I get so sore so quickly. If I am upright too long it feels like the baby is literally going to fall out. NOT fun at all!
  • My Christmas shopping is done! I still need my brother and his wife’s gift but the later I get them the better actually.
  • Remember how I mentioned my bump was small? Well it popped! Nothing that fitted me when I left Joburg is fitting me so I am now wearing a combination of my moms clothes and stuff D’s mom found for me.
  • I am loving having David around 24/7. It has been a very stressful few months for him and so it is nice to see him chill a bit and just be with us.
  • We have had some fun days out – went berry picking (in the rain), caught some tadpoles and David and I had a whirlwind trip into Cape Town.
  • The weather has been great. There was one morning of rain but the rest of the time it has been lovely, clear skies and hot.

I think that’s about it for now :)

I hope everyone is having a great holiday so far!!

Favorite moment of 2013

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This was an easy one – without a doubt our wedding day.

Everything about the day was just perfect – it was everything I had hoped for and more thanks to my incredible friends and family who all helped bring it together.

I think if I had to choose a moment that was my favourite it would I be afterwards when David and I were alone, in our room opening gifts and talking about the day.

But really the entire day was just so magical and special!!!!

PS. I am posting this from my phone so can’t link back to previous wedding posts because it’s a mission finding them but I think you all did see photos :)

PPS today is day 4 with no contacts or glasses! I think the infection has cleared but want to be 100% sure so waiting until tomorrow to put my contacts back in.

Something someone told you about yourself that you will never forget

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I have been thinking about this one all day. So many people tell us things every day that we react to and that effect us, sometimes even unconsciously.

There are two things though that stick out for me.

The first one was a message a very special lady wrote in my first wedding card – she said “Be kind to one another.” Such simple words but they hold a world of meaning. Imagine a world were people were simply kind to one another?

The second thing was something David said when we went on our first date = when I got in the car he said “You are prettier than I remember.”

It has sort of come to hold a deeper meaning for me. When we have hit a rough patch – either personally or as a couple then I often come out of it thinking “you are stronger than I remember” or “You are more determined than I remember” Sort of like he reminds me often, without even knowing it, why he is the most awesome man in the world.

What is something someone has said to you that you won’t forget?

Gratitude 19 – 21

I have been slack with posting the daily gratitudes. Its hot and I just haven’t been up to sitting in front of the PC for too long.

Anyway this week I was/am grateful for

Monday – That David took the kids to school. It really isn’t a huge thing taking them but it is so nice when I don’t have to bundle everyone in the car, sit in traffic (all 15 minutes of it) on the way home.

Tuesday – We finally found a marriage officer last night. It has been a bit of a struggle so I am glad it has been crossed off the list!

Wednesday – That Jack is spending the night with his granny. He hasn’t slept the last 2 nights and this morning I was more than bleak! So I am very glad that he is spending quality time with his gran! As soon as I am home from fetching the big kids I am going to get straight into bed!!!!