I wanted to share my own motherhood journey as part of my Mothers Day series but I think most of you know it already. While the story of how our family came to be is pretty special but I had four successful, “easy” pregnancies. While I find motherhood a daily challenge, I became a mother pretty easily. So I decided instead to write a little bit about my own mother and the lessons she has taught me.
Very often it is only when we become a mother that we really appreciate our own mothers. Once you have a child of you own you start to realise the sacrifices your own parents made and you appreciate them a whole lot more. My relationship with my mother hasn’t always been easy. There have been challenges and fights and slammed doors but I think, having teenagers of my own now, it is almost a milestone in parenting.
Despite the rocky years though I am not sure I could hold things together without my mother.
My mother always put my brother and I first BUT not at the expense of her marriage or her relationship with my dad. She sacrificed a lot to make sure my brother and I had what we needed (and often what we wanted) but her relationship with my dad was always her priority.
(Read Nikki’s posts on this topic, I agree with her 100% thanks to my mom)
I remember my parents fighting in front of us once. This is not to say they didn’t fight or argue but they just “hid” it from us well. There relationship, in my eyes, was always rock solid. While I failed at this in my first marriage, I am working really hard on it with David. They always provided a united front.
My mom taught me not to over react. My kids don’t particularly like this but I remember telling my mom I felt sick and she would give me a panado and tell me to get in the car for school. This does not mean she didn’t care or ignored us but she knew when we were really sick or when a panado would work. Even though now she often will tell me to take the kids to the Dr, I have learnt to also tell when it is serious and when a panado will do. I am now very grateful for this. If I had to rush to the Dr with every runny nose and cough, we would actually just live in the Dr’s waiting room because someone always has something wrong but not everything needs a Dr.
Nobody can make a plan like my mom can. One year we went on holiday and my brother wanted to fish. A stick, some fishing line and a hook later he had a fishing rod! When you have 4 kids and limited funds, making a plan comes in really handy.
Boundaries are very important to me. Both of my parents have always set very strict boundaries in all of their relationships. There was always a line. You always knew where the line was. I don’t always get this right but boundaries are really important to me.
My mom is one of those people who can sum a person up in a few seconds. She taught me how to do this and to trust my gut instinct about people. When I have ignored this I have always been sorry (like my first marriage for example *sigh*). David often asks me to meet someone just so I can suss them out for him.
Kiara dances to the beat of her own drum and it is probably her best quality. I don’t always understand that and in the early days I really struggled, my mom has taught me how to deal with the challenges I face as her parent.
One of my mom’s favourite sayings is “suck it up”. This may seem a little negative but it is a valuable life lesson because sometimes we do just have to suck it up!
These are just a few of the life lessons my mom has taught me and is still teaching me. I am grateful every day for my mother. Some days she is the only thing standing between me and total insanity.
“As mothers and daughters, we are connected with one another. My mother is the bones of my spine, keeping me straight and true. She is my blood, making sure it runs rich and strong. She is the beating of my heart. I cannot now imagine a life without her.”
―Kristin Hannah, Summer Island
What are some of the lessons your mom has taught you?
If you enjoyed this post please share with your friends! You can also find me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and Snapchat (harassedmom) and don’t forget to subscribe to my weekly newsletter.