Do you remember that song “Let’s talk about sex, baby” – it’s a bit of an earworm song and I have had it in my head for days now!
David thinks I make this stuff to make him feel bad for going away and having sleep fulled nights and meals cooked for him (even if dinner is the goat outside his window – someone else is cooking it!). I wish I did because then I wouldn’t be severely traumatised by what has happened over the last 24 hours!
Emma hasn’t been sleeping well the last week or so. I knew with David gone nights would be rough because we tag team it at night so we do both get sleep (not enough but enough if you know what I mean). Sunday night was ok and both her and Jack slept nicely from 2h00 – 4h50 after Emma had two HUGE HUGE poos – like HUGE PEOPLE. I felt ok to take on the day though and I managed to get everyone in the car 2 minutes ahead of schedule and I made an entire yoga class so I was feeling rather chuffed!
Then the one wheel started getting a bit wonky and Miss Emma, who also hasn’t been drinking properly, started screaming and screaming. She was due to feed but would not take the bottle at all. Eventually I gave her some buscopan and panado and then called the Dr to rule out anything major like ears, throat etc. She wouldn’t really settle so I went to fetch Jack early and she fell asleep in the car. She woke up a while later with another HUGE poo – we had to change all her clothes. It was yukky! It was everywhere.
She managed to drink a little and seemed calm. Jack then went to the loo and let out a blood curdling scream. He had held a poo in since I dropped him off at school that morning and now it wouldn’t come out and was painful. After much screaming I managed to get him to take some meds to help the situation.
Cameron then messages me that I must come fetch him because he doesn’t have media duty. So off we go but now we have a 30 minute wait in the car for Kiara to finish art so what happens? Emma starts screaming, Jack needs to poo and its ALL JUST CHAOS!!!!
Jack eventually has success in the toilet and Emma drinks a little more. I also decided to give her some pumpkin because I am a little concerned about her food intake now! All went well until I discovered the dog had dug out all Emma’s poo nappies and spread them all over my bedroom floor! The dog is LUCKY that I love my daughter because she almost found herself being drop kicked over the wall!
Bedtime went well. By 19h00 both babies were bathed and asleep! Then at 20h00 Jack calls me he wants to wee. I take him, pull his pants down and he refuses! As I pick him up to take him back to bed he wees ALL OVER ME!!!
Let me tell you, dear readers, at this point I was ready to run away!
But I was too tired to even walk downstairs to get into the car so I went to bed and the night went….
22h00 Jack calls me – I settle him
23h15 Emma cries – I pop the dummy in and turn her over
01h15 Emma cries – I pop the dummy in and turn her over
02h19 Emma cries – I pop the dummy in. She cries some more. I pop the dummy in. She cries. I feed her. She drinks.
02h40 Jack needs me – I put him in my bed
03h17 Emma cries – repeat the dummy thing a few times
04hsomething Emma cries – I try feed her – two sucks and she’s asleep
05h09 – Emma cries and I get up and admit defeat!
It doesn’t end there though.
I hear she is making a poo! I leave her! She looks finished so I change her. As I am putting the last wet wipe on the dirty nappy she PROJECTILE POOS ALL OVER ME!!!!!
Jack was lying next to her and sits up and goes “WHAT HAPPENED”
You know what happened? I had KIDS! THAT’s what happened *sigh*
But on the upside – I made yoga this morning and there is nothing visible wrong with her! AND a bird pooped on my window as we left for gym earlier which means money doesn’t it?
How has your week been?