Arent monday mornings wonderful? Dont they full you with excitement for the week ahead? You feel anything is possible?
If you said YES to any of the above – please let me know the name of your meds – I NEED THEM!
We had a crap monday morning and right now I am not sure anything is actually possible. It all went well until I got the kids clothes out and Cameron – who was mad with me and if you asked us I dont think either of us will remember why – refused to get dressed – as he does. So in my best “The books said this will work” voice I say “Cameron here are you clothes. Its your CHOICE to get ready. When I leave if you are not ready, you have CHOSEN to go to school in your pjs” – I think he heard Cameron and then started with the blah blah blah and his fingers in his ears. I actually thought my head may explode with anger so I walked away right into my mother!!!!!
She was mumbling something about where all the rice went that I made the day before and then spotted me (with the eyes in the back of her head) and started “I thought you made rice yday? Where is it? I wanted to do the rice and curry for supper tonight! You know its dog club tonight but now there isnt rice! Oh dam I didnt take out the dogs meat! Did you see where I put my bag? Please tell Johanna not to wash my linen today….” This is how my mom talks and so I took my gap and hightailed it out of there before she noticed the rice bowl again! (Just so btw there was enough food to feed a small country left over)
So I head back to my room – known at this point to me as the WAR ZONE – and advised my offspring I was going to bath – the both said OK – so I ASSUMED they had heard me! COOL off I go for my morning “quiet time”. As I put my toe in the water I hear “Mom”. I immerse my foot and start praying – but I think God was pissed at me yday morning – so I her again “MOM”. Fortunately the little one was really listening and tells him I am in the bath! Silence!!! I manage to lie a bit (ok for like 2 minutes) and the as I am about to start bathing “Mom Cameron is lying on my spot” followed closely by “No I am not she wasnt lying here” – I put my head under the water and since prayer wasnt really that effective I simple said “FUCK” – speed washed and got out!
Eventually everyone dressed, bags packed, lunch made, breakfast eaten I try head for the door! But my mom had also chosen TODAY to be a bad day for her. So while I am trying to get shoes on Cameron and put the tv off – she summons him to help her carry stuff to the car – I breathe and look for wine and then realise its not yet 6h30 and realise why God was probably pissed. I send Kiara to help my mom and sort Cameron out.
And finally we all get out the house in one piece! Drop off at school went surprisingly well considering the goings on not 5 minutes earlier! And off I head to work – no traffic – BLISS! Things were looking good!
Then dread hits me – I run my tongue over my teeth and actually want to start crying – I FORGOT TO BRUSH MY TEETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!