I am sharing this because when people here I am STILL single (its only been 2 years) there next question is “Have you tried the internet” – I suppose the logic is – if it isnt on google then it doesnt exist – so therefore my knight in shining army HAS to be out there somewhere on the WWW.
This is WHY I have decided against using google to search for THE ONE! I did join a few sites about a year ago – I sat through the questionaires and attempted to make myself as “marketable” as I could! I found a few pics (ok ONE) where I looked decent and not like the stressed, tired working mother that I am. And as I pressed submit I added those words “what you see is what you get”. Already my relationship with the world wide web was starting out a little less than honest. I was not sporty (but I do gym when I am feeling fat), I dont really enjoy the outdoors(but I do spend 90% of time there – I have kids), I am not particularly adventurous(but again I have kids so I have to do what needs to be done), I am usually only funny around sat afternoon when I have had my wine or after 3 days of no sleep and hysteria sets in.
But all that aside my profile read sporty, adventurous, loves the outdoors and funny.
GREAT! I was ready to be WOWED! Well what followed made me seriously consider if I EVER wanted to get involved on ANY level with anything of the opposite sex. My “fans” – as they are called in the internet dating world – were black foreigners, now I have NOTHING against dating black guys but I am NOT a free ticket into SA, so NO I dont want to marry you on saturday. OLD, gray, balding men – again old can be attractive but NOT so old you and my dad can talk about “back in the day” and gray is also hot – look at Richard Gere – but if my child confuses you for Father Christmas its a problem! And then there were the young hot boys – who when I checked their profiles got my pulse racing until I read their messages “wanna have some fun” or the more noble straight forward kind “wanna have sex”. These were all the ones I declined.
There were a few who made it to date night – I have changed their names to protect their identities – there was Bob, a really cute, funny helicopter pilot who also had a love for the bush – seriously I was picking out the wedding china 10 minutes after I met him. Bob took me home and then decided 2 days later he never felt chemistry?? So ja my dreams werea all shattered but I kept going. Harry also seemed pretty cool – although he kept mentioning me moving to Cape Town – which really should have sent alarm bells since we had JUST started mailing. But anyway Harry flew up to see me – which you have to admit is kinda flattering. And the second I saw him I actually cringed – but I was nice and even agreed to a date the second night – well what could I do he was here for ME! So I suffered thro date 2 and had to again listen to his woe-is-me tale of his ex-girlfriend! Eventually I told him to go back and sort things out with her – he did and they are now apparently very happy.
After that I took a bit of a break – its quite stressful to be honest! But then last week I get a message that says “I am looking for something more substantial…” – so I am thinking cool this can work. So I mail – his reply “what is your bra size”. So I am assuming that is what he meant by more substantial!
Fortunately my life is full of real people and real possibilities so for right now I dont have to rely on the net but it is going to be a sad day for me if I ever do have to! I may end up running a drug cartel out of Nigeria or married to Father Christmas!
So next time you want to suggest internet dating to a friend – rather take them out for a Cosmopolitan at News Cafe and admire the scenery. She will appreciate you alot more!