Posts tagged - family

Dear Family

My dear children, I birthed you all. I know you all better than you know yourself. I know when you are scared, happy, frightened and hungry. I know what makes you anxious. I know where you happy places are. I know you!

I also know where you go to school, who your soccer coach is, who your dance instructor is and how you need your shoes to be tied. I know what I need to know to get you to where you need to be.

What I do not know, however, is where you put your shin pads when you came back from soccer. I do not know where you put your school socks after you wore them. I do not know where your Lightning McQueen car is. I do not know what your English teacher said. I also have no idea where you glasses are or where your personal diary is.

I AM NOT THE ENCYCLOPEDIA KNOW-WHERE-YOUR-STUFF-IS!!! I DON’T WANT TO BE THE ENCYCLOPEDIA KNOW-WHERE-YOUR-STUFF-IS!!!

The good Lord has given you all a beautiful pair of eyes and a brain in your head! USE them to look for YOUR things or even better still – put your things in YOUR room – that way you will know where YOUR stuff is!

Despite popular belief I do not spend my days moving around just to mess with you. A part of me wishes I did have the time to do that!

I love you all more than I love dark Aero chocolate and vanilla flavoured coffee but if one of you ask me one more time where something is I am trading you all in for chocolate and coffee!

PS – please tell your father that the same applies to him!

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News Years Inspiration – My word

I joined this blog challenge over at Another Girly Blog and I nearly missed the deadline with all our holidaying and what not but here it is.

My inspiration for the year ahead.

My word. I actually wasn’t planning a word for this year but this one kind of found me on old years eve and so here I am – accepting things. When I told Julia she said to me “This means lots of biting your tongue” – indeed it does but it also doesn’t mean becoming a doormat . To me it means, accepting the things I can not change, making peace with them and learning to deal with them.

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My second inspiration for the year is my family. I want to focus more this year on the 6 of us as a family – being together more, doing stuff together as a family and not simply getting through the day and racing through the weekends.

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Here’s to you, 2013

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way. Charles Dickens

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I love this quote. I have mentioned it a few times on this blog and every time I think back on a year it springs to mind. Some years are better than others in general but at times, it does feel like it was the best year and the worst year at the same time. We make smart choices and we make stupid choices. Isn’t it how life is? Sometimes really good, we feel in control and then it’s not so good and we loose control.

If I look back over 2013, it was a good year.  It was the year I married the only man I have ever really and truly loved and it was a magical day. Definitely one of the best days of my life.

It was also the year we took a huge stride forward with Kiara. We aren’t out of the woods just yet but it has gotten so much easier and she is in a much happier place now.

Those two things are probably the highlights of the year. Both had a significantly positive  impact on our lives.

There were a collection of smaller moments that together contributed to it being a good year.

  • Jack started school.IMG_2013
  • Cameron had another great academic year at school.
  • I had a great blogging year.
  • I visited my parents twice.
  • David and I had a great honeymoon in Zanzibar.
  • I met some bloggers I have been friends with for ages for the first time.
  • We bought a new car.
  • I had a great health and fitness year.

But with the good there are always challenges – David’s overseas travel increased, which is great for his career but does add strain, not only to the family as a whole but also to our relationship (one of my main love languages is quality time), money issues, work issues for David, a few family issues.

There were times it felt like for every step we took forward, something happened and we fell 2 steps back. In the relatively short time David and I have been together we have had some really tough times, not really in 7.5x10our relationship but more in dealing with life. We both keep waiting for it to get easier. Hopefully that’s what 2014 is going to be about.

After all is said and done though it was a awesome year. I have an amazing family who, once again, showed their support and love for us. I have an incredible husband who makes me so incredibly happy. I have 3 perfect children who make everyday an adventure. I have a small group of wonderful friends.

I am blessed.

Even when the days are long and the times are tough – I am blessed. I have love. I have support. I have happiness.

I had an excellent year.

So here’s to a great 2013 and an even better 2014.

 

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Montagu in Pictures

I had a serious post all planned out in my head but Kiara threw a curve ball earlier which caused me to blank out totally on the post so here are a few pictures from our week away.

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Tell me what you did these holidays if you took time off?? And if you didn’t whats happening in your world? I had to make the billion items in my reader as read :(

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Family holidays

I had the best intentions of writing 5 posts last week for this week because I knew I wouldn’t probably have much time to write while we are visiting my mom but it never happened! So my poor blog has sat here, dead for the past week! How very sad!

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My parents have just taken all the kids for a walk so I am using the time to get my internet/writing fix!

The week has flown by! We have been here 5 days already but it doesn’t feel like it at all. We have been so busy that by 19h30 we all fall into bed and are asleep before our heads hit the pillow. My 3 aunts were also up for the first 3 days which was so lovely. They live in Durban so neither my mom nor I see them often at all so it was really great to spend time with them.

And have we eaten! While my aunts were here my mom made proper meals for every meal time. So we ate and we ate!!! I am going to have to do a little detox when I get home (if they let my fat ass on the plane that is). But it has been great.

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Holidays can be bittersweet though! David wasn’t able to join us this week and we miss him. As awesome as it has been, I still felt a gap where he should have been and I am now missing him lots.

I know I have said this a million times but it is not easy having family so far and when you visit you are reminded of what you are leaving behind. There is a pull to go home but also a pull to stay! I am not sure how David is going to drag us home in January after we have been here almost a month!

Kiara, particularly, thrives where my mother is. She transforms into a totally different child. At home she is never 3 steps from where I am and constantly checks on me, asks where we are going, goes with me everywhere but here I never see her. She doesn’t ask me anything – she just carries on with her own thing.

Of course, the added bonus is that it is beautiful here! Every day the sky is bluer than the day before. It has been chilly in the mornings but it warms up and is just stunning.

1234114_331965163615192_1514466188_nIt will be with a heavy heart that we say goodbye on Sunday but we have made some wonderful memories while we have been here which is all that matters.

 

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So family!

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The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another’s desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together. ~Erma Bombeck

There was a little incident yesterday. I think it actually only upset my mom and I but it reminded me that you are never too old to want to punch someone who is mean to your sibling!

Family can be such a minefield of emotions, complexities and challenges because they aren’t like friends. As much you may want to you can’t just say “I don’t want to be your sister anymore! I am unfriending you” and then cut all ties. Well I suppose in extreme cases you can but in general it is not that easy. The ties that bind family will still be there whether or not you actually speak to each other or not.

My parents and my brother have always been a huge part of my daily life. We have never lived very far from one another and my mom is sort of the post office. My brother and I talk to her daily and she shares the news with us and my dad. So we always know whats going on.

I am still not used to being so far away from them all. It isn’t even just about the support. It is about having family nearby. Sunday lunches, crashing at moms house for end of the month dinner (because mom never seems to have end of the month :)), cousin play dates. As awesome as our friends are, there really is nothing like family.

There are times when we drive each other made, say hurtful things or are just down right mean to one another but at the end of the day, when the chips are down I know that my family have my back and they know I have theirs.

How close is your family?

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Things making me happy

I went to yoga this morning. It was a tough class but I do so enjoy it. It is the perfect way to start the week. When I got home the kids and I sorted out the toy room – I did a surface clean a few weeks ago but today we sorted out the boxes and threw out all the rubbish. I have a box of things to take with the to Grace Factor Social in a few weeks and it looks loads better.

It has left me exhausted though. I am battling a lot with my blood pressure at the moment. It is so low and nothing I do seems to stabilise it so all I want to do is lie down. I bought some trail mix from Montagu today and am hoping if I snack on the nuts, seeds and dried fruit it will help a little.

So what else, besides a clean toy room, is making me happy at the moment?

Holidays – we had a really great week last week. We slept late, lay around, read, watched TV, did some shopping, went to the park, baked – it was just what we all need!

Woolies Sour Gums – yes I know these are far from healthy but I have been craving them and so yesterday gave in and bought a box!

Winter – we have had such a stunning winter. Yesterday we were at the park in short sleeves and clear skies. So lovely.

Soup – I don’t think this impresses my family much but I would make soup daily if I could. I have a huge pot on the stove at the moment for the my lunches this week. Kiara doesn’t mind soup but if she sees a lentil then she refuses to touch it and Cameron isn’t interested at all!

Moments like this!!!!

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Whats making you happy at the moment?

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February Blog Challenge – my family

Introduce your family……

The family I live with…

David – the dad, fiance, provider, sexiness, head honcho

Cameron – child 1, oldest son, sporty, talented, pre-teen

Kiara – middle child, only girl, head in the clouds, special little person

Jack – toddler, whirlwind, chaos, cute

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Lucy – dog! hold digger! plant destroyer! (but we are fond of her)

Becksie – bird, noise-maker, seed-spreader

Yogi – hamster, silent pet (my favourite)

Family we don’t live with…..

Granny Bev – my mom, sewer, grower of grapes and almonds

Oupa Rudi – my dad, silent, killer of scorpions

Jon – my brother, smart-ass

Nhin – my sister in law, she is also Aries – no more needs to be said about that then :)

Mae – my only niece – she is a closet Aries and resident cutie pie.

Granny Cynthia – David’s mom

Oupa Dirk – David’s step-dad

Andrew – David’s brother,, traveller, snowboarder

How big is your immediate family.

 

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A challenge for your family

I have tried not to be too OCD about the cleaning this holiday. I tidy up every day but do a proper clean every second day – floors, bathrooms etc. I actually really don’t mind it – 2 hours tops and it’s all done and then I know it’s done my way.

I conducted a small challenge of sorts with my little family a few days ago. Kiara has stickers on her wall – one is a crown – it’s about A5 size. Somehow it ended up on one of our stairs. These stairs are the only set of stairs from the top floor to the ground floor – in another words we ALL walk down them every single day a few times.

So I walk over the crown and decide to see how long it remains there. Now the sticker was brightly coloured and made from cardboard – so very visible.

Day 1 – sticker remains where it is.

Day 2 – sticker unmoved.

Day 3 – sticker still in the same spot.

True story this!

I know it is Kiara’s sticker so ultimately she should be responsible BUT I pick up stuff that’s out of place that doesn’t belong to me – you would think the other inhabitants of my house would too. Appears not :)

I eventually moved it this morning before it becomes unable to move.

In all fairness everyone has chipped in these holidays and helped out but these little things really fascinate me – I pile everyone’s shoes up at the bottom of the stairs, with the idea that they take them on their way up. LOL I have to remind them a few times before the shoes go up.

So here is the challenge – leave something on the floor and see how long your family leaves it there and then let me know!!!

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Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure

Yesterday was a horrible day. It was emotionally draining.

I handled it wrong and once again I am reminded that how I react and how I respond sets the tone for how my family is going to respond. So when I loose control – they loose control. When I can’t cope – they can’t cope.

Yesterday afternoon did not go well. Cameron had a major meltdown when I said we were not attending the schools braai last night – it was not pretty. I handled it wrong.

BUT we got through it. He calmed down. I calmed down.

The sun set and it rose again this morning offering us a chance to try again.

My brother spoke to Cameron this morning. I have no idea what he said but whatever it was Cameron HEARD him and he was calm and pleasant again after the chat. I owe my brother a 6-pack or something because I have been trying and trying and getting nowhere.

I dropped them off at school and let it all go.

I paged through my huge recipe file from tech and made a list, took Jack to Pick n Pay and we shopped and then I baked!

It was just what I needed to regain some sort of sense of order in my head.

I still feel responsible for what happened. I need for figure out where I am going wrong and change what can be changed.

What I have learnt though is that you can not raise your children in isolation. You, as their parent, are responsible for them but you can not do it alone. You need aunts and uncles and grandparents and friends to help. The support I had from my friends and family through this is pretty much what carried me through. I am so grateful that I have them in my life and that my kids have them!! And for all my moaning about the school I have to say they were all incredibly supportive of both Cameron and I.

It was the hardest moment as a parent I have been through but I suspect it wont be the last.

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