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This too shall pass – valuable advice

This too shall pass!

If I had a slab of chocolate for every time someone has said those four words to be I would be richer than Switzerland!

Usually people share those pearls of wisdom when you are exhausted because you managed to close your eyes for a total of 20 minutes the night before or you have just wrestled your toddler into the car or your teen has just slammed the door in your face, again! Instead of listening or accepting those words you imagine beating that person with a rolling pin or letting them try get the toddler to eat his dinner, then they will see just how quickly things will not pass.

While it may not always be received well, it is probably the best piece of advise and a mantra we, as parents, need to remember ever day. It always does pass!

Remember how Emma never slept? Remember my moaning, desperation, exhaustion and utter frustration? In those dark moments of weariness I was convinced that this is what life would be like, David and I playing tag team every hour with the baby, the two of us snapping at each other, me biting the big kids heads off for no reason, not wanting to go anywhere or do anything because the baby was miserable and I was tired.

Fast forward to yesterday, Emma’s first birthday.

Emma Sleep

I am in her room sorting her clothes out (for a fourth child she really has a rather large amount of brand name clothes) when she starts trying to climb up the side of her camp cot, she then starts moaning and is insistent that she go into the cot. I look at the time, its nap time! I make her bottle, pop in the cot and in 5 minutes she is asleep and she slept for 3 hours, like she does every single day now!

On Saturday night we went out to friends, we took the camp cot with, popped her in at bed time and she slept. We could enjoy ourselves without an over tired baby or worrying that she would wake up!

We still have wake ups at night but they are short and she settles again.

6 months ago I would never have imagined we would get to this point!

I am wary to tell people “this too shall pass” because often they would rather you say “Can I bring you some wine?” but the fact is, it does pass. Babies sleep, toddlers eat broken bread, teens pass Matric. We get through, sometimes a little battered and bruised but we get through, our kids get through.

It is a dry white season
dark leaves don’t last, their brief lives dry out
and with a broken heart they
dive down gently headed for the earth
not even bleeding.
it is a dry white season brother, only the trees know the pain as they still stand erect
dry like steel, their branches dry like wire,
indeed, it is a dry white season but seasons come to pass

© Mongane Wally Serote

Isn’t this poem beautiful? I first read it when I was studying English and varsity (I really don’t know why I gave that up).

What passed for you that you didn’t think would?

 

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13 Responses

  1. Very true…everything has a beginning and an end…and that is what we hang onto with all our worth when things get difficult. The thing I never thought would pass?…in a word the disaster that was 2010 in our family xx
    Lynette Jacobs recently posted…Moments capturedMy Profile

  2. So true. For me it was when my daughter was diagnosed with hip dysplasia when she was born. She had to be in a Pavlik Harnass for her first few months (and then checked to see if she needed further treatment). I knew it was for a limited time, but it felt like it was never going to pass. And we counted down the days for when it would be taken off, and on that day the doctor said he’s extending it for a month.

    And then my son didn’t sleep through the night for 3 and a half years. Had him at 2 dr’s who just suggested all the night time routine things, basically saying we’re doing something wrong. Then January we took him for his tonsils and the ENT told us he suffered from really bad reflux. The other dr’s didn’t pick it up. Went on treatment immediately and he has slept through every night since then.

  3. Oh, so many things I thought would never be over!
    The fights with my ex, before I met David.
    Living with my in-laws/other people while we worked for a charity and depended on donations for income to run the place and feed ourselves.
    January, most years.
    Labour, during that awful transition bit, where I questioned my sanity for having babies at all and begged to be cut open so it can just be over!
    The battle to get the kids to bath/brush teeth & hair/eat actual food/pick up their stuff and put it away…
    Sometimes, I remind myself of the things that have passed, and that I had thought never would, to regain perspective and realise how far we’ve come and how much we have!
    MeeA Parkins recently posted…TwelveMy Profile

  4. Nappies! I seriously thought that Son2 would start grade 1 in nappies because potty training was HARD and took FOREVER. After a VERY frustrating journey of start/stop/start/stop/start/GET IT RIGHT, it eventually clicked for him at the ripe age of 4 years and 10 months. Yes, he was nearly 5 when he got off daytime nappies!

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