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5 Things I Wish I Had Known After I Had My Baby

I had my oldest before the internet was a big thing. We were on dial up and so spent very little time googling stuff and initially I didn’t start asking google questions about parenting related things. So basically when I become a parent, I had Living and Loving and Your Baby as my information resources and the advice of pretty much everyone I encountered. 5 Things I Wish I Had Known After I Had My Baby | HarassedMom

I was new to Joburg so my circle of friends was super small and those friends I did have didn’t have kids so I was out there in the new world of parenting, alone and completely unsure. It was an emotionally tough time and if I didn’t have my parents so close at the time I may have never had another child, ever. 

When I chat to moms who are pregnant for the first time I try to be as honest as I can without scaring them too much. I think a lot of issues could be eliminated or at least minimised if moms knew what to expect in those first few weeks.5 Things I Wish I Had Known After I Had My Baby | HarassedMom

These are a few of the things I wish someone had told me before I had my kids.

The bond is not always immediate. The moment you see your new baby you are overwhelmed with emotion. The birth of a baby is a miraculous thing, it is incredibly emotional but when it all settles, you may not find that bond with your baby instantaneous. I didn’t 3/4 times it took a good few months for me to bond properly with my kids. This is not abnormal. It does not mean you do not love your child. It does not mean there is something wrong with you.

Breastfeeding does not come naturally. I have blogged a lot about this, so not really going to go into it all again except to say that if you do not “get it” immediately keep trying. It is normal to struggle a little while you and baby find your groove.

Your body changes, forever. I am not talking about weight loss/gain but rather about the changes your entire body undergoes. Your periods change. Your hair and skin change. You hormones are all over the place. Pregnancy is a huge thing, your body is literally inhabited by another living human being, it is natural for it to change. 

Everyone has an opinion about everything you do. This is magnified by social media and the world but the second you get that positive pregnancy test it is like you give the world permission to add their 2-cent to every decision you make. Your baby is a couple of hours old and every.single.person you encounter knows what that cry means, they know why your baby is making that face and they will not hold back in telling you. 

It does not get easier with a second child. Having a second baby does not automatically mean you will know what you are doing. Every child is so different, the experience will be different but not necessarily easier. 

What do you wish someone had told you before you had your baby?

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5 Things I Wish I Had Known After I Had My Baby | HarassedMom



  1. 8 September, 2018 / 10:06 pm

    Breastfeeding does take effort and is not as easy for everyone.

    • Laura-Kim
      9 September, 2018 / 8:22 am

      Yip. I really am in awe of those moms who get it right and make it look so easy.

  2. 10 September, 2018 / 2:44 am

    These are very good points and important to talk about. A lot of moms feel like they are failing because it is expected that we will all just take to motherhood perfectly. There is a lot to learn though!

  3. 12 September, 2018 / 9:16 am

    I wish someone had told me that every mom should take time for herself every day even if it just means taking a shower or washing your face. I thought I had to do everything and didn’t really ask for help with my first two kiddos and I learned the hard way. By the time the 4th kiddo came, I welcomed the little bits of time I had to myself no matter how small a time it is.
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  4. 16 September, 2018 / 10:29 pm

    For my first breastfeeding was difficult. We ended up working it out and she would latch there were no other problems but it was definitely hard to get the hang of.

  5. 30 September, 2018 / 4:23 am

    This is so beautiful mama ! Yes breastfeeding is hard and our breasts change forever.

  6. 3 January, 2019 / 2:17 pm

    Excellent article, With the second child I felt easier emotionally. No fears, concerns, uncertainties. Of course, all children are different.

  7. 8 January, 2019 / 5:38 pm

    I was just on a women’s weekend and we talked a lot about these things. We all said we had wished we had known how normal it was to not bond immediately or feel overwhelming love.

  8. 8 January, 2019 / 11:44 pm

    Very true! I would totally agree with the first four. For me, the second baby was soooo much easier. I was a much more confident mom and loved it right from the start. I was lucky, but I know that it’s not the same for everyone.

  9. 9 January, 2019 / 4:39 pm

    I wish someone had told me to do what I feel is right as their mother. With my first child I listened to everyone’s opinions and thought I was always a not good enough mom or not doing something right. I have 6 kids now and I do what I feel is right and I do not feel like a not good enough mom. I know I rock! LOL I feel less stressed and I feel like I know what I’m doing. They are all happy and healthy so I’m doing something right! LoL 🙂

  10. 4 March, 2019 / 3:32 pm

    Agreed with you that every child are different. Now I’m a proud mum of two and offering confinement lady for Malaysia Chinese community.

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