Home ยป Friends ยป All the single ladies! All the single ladies

All the single ladies! All the single ladies

See another song! I am telling you I am making a soundtrack of this week!

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It appears that my family have been hit by a serious negative energy tornado this week – my cousins baby is in hospital, my niece had a burst ear drum last night and someone tried to grab my cousins hand bag on her way home from work last night! It’s been a crap week all round!

It’s been almost 5 years since I was a single mom but it is something I think I will always be. It was probably the time of my life when I learnt the most about myself as a person and as a parent. It was also a time when I made some very special friends. It was also a very difficult time for obvious reasons. One of the things I know a lot of single moms take great exception to is when married moms say “I am like a single mom because my husband doesn’t help me!”

An unhelpful, uninvolved husband is NOT the same thing as being a single mom!

While I had recollections of those days this week it was no where near what it was like being a single mom!

Even though I was physically doing it all on my own, David was busy making money so that I wasn’t stressing about that as well. We were still doing it together.

There is a huge difference between being a single mom and being married and having to look after the kids 100% of the time. When you have a partner the responsibility of daily life gets split. You may watch kids but he brings in the money. You cook but he may mow the lawn. You may have to sew on buttons but he will change the lightbulbs (or vice versa).

The point is that there is another person around to shoulder the stress but when you are a single parent – it’s all on you. EVEN if you have a great relationship with your ex, he no longer shares the daily responsibilities with you. If your husband works late or travels often, he will at some point come home. He will be there to talk to, to catch spiders, to fall asleep next too. Single moms do not have this luxury.

So while this week I remembered, not too fondly, those single lady days, I did not long for them at all because even though he may not always physically be here, David is always here doing his bit to keep the wheels of our family turning!

And to all the single moms! Be strong! It DOES get easier I promise!

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6 Comments

  1. 22 May, 2014 / 5:31 pm

    I agree totally. when my children were young my man was called up to do border duty for three months every second year and those were the hard times when the children misbehaved and things broke and it just all sucked big time. Although my man worked 12 hour days I knew he came home and that made things okay. I would never have been able to cope as a single mom. I have huge respect for people who actually get through it on their own.

  2. 23 May, 2014 / 4:42 am

    I try not to think about it to much. It is what it is. I am team Nicola, and I do the best I can. It helps when you have a very supportive family that can help out in a pinch…and I do have the super stars in that department.

    Loving your sound track this week. Throw some rock in there for Friday, will you? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. 23 May, 2014 / 11:48 am

    OH MY GOSH what a cute photo!!!

    agree with you!

    I could never do it unless things changed dramatically.

    I want to hear the aftermath of the C story!

  4. 23 May, 2014 / 2:36 pm

    Can’t be easy to be a single mom. I am glad that you aren’t one anymore and that you are happy ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. 26 May, 2014 / 11:56 am

    Having my husband work away these last few months, opened my eyes to how difficult single parenting can be.. not even the physical day to day things.. but just having to be mom and dad to your child. Its HARD. And you are right, the thing that probably kept me going the most was knowing it wasnt forever, hubby was home on weekends to fix what needed fixing, sort the kids out to give me a break, etc.. so really NOT the same thing as a single parent AT ALL!!

  6. 27 May, 2014 / 7:41 pm

    Gosh, I take my hat off to single moms. I always joke that I’m a single married mom but I know that it’s not the same because I still come home to companionship and you are right, even if he’s not physically helping me cook or whatever, he is playing his part.

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