See another song! I am telling you I am making a soundtrack of this week!
It appears that my family have been hit by a serious negative energy tornado this week – my cousins baby is in hospital, my niece had a burst ear drum last night and someone tried to grab my cousins hand bag on her way home from work last night! It’s been a crap week all round!
It’s been almost 5 years since I was a single mom but it is something I think I will always be. It was probably the time of my life when I learnt the most about myself as a person and as a parent. It was also a time when I made some very special friends. It was also a very difficult time for obvious reasons. One of the things I know a lot of single moms take great exception to is when married moms say “I am like a single mom because my husband doesn’t help me!”
An unhelpful, uninvolved husband is NOT the same thing as being a single mom!
While I had recollections of those days this week it was no where near what it was like being a single mom!
Even though I was physically doing it all on my own, David was busy making money so that I wasn’t stressing about that as well. We were still doing it together.
There is a huge difference between being a single mom and being married and having to look after the kids 100% of the time. When you have a partner the responsibility of daily life gets split. You may watch kids but he brings in the money. You cook but he may mow the lawn. You may have to sew on buttons but he will change the lightbulbs (or vice versa).
The point is that there is another person around to shoulder the stress but when you are a single parent – it’s all on you. EVEN if you have a great relationship with your ex, he no longer shares the daily responsibilities with you. If your husband works late or travels often, he will at some point come home. He will be there to talk to, to catch spiders, to fall asleep next too. Single moms do not have this luxury.
So while this week I remembered, not too fondly, those single lady days, I did not long for them at all because even though he may not always physically be here, David is always here doing his bit to keep the wheels of our family turning!
And to all the single moms! Be strong! It DOES get easier I promise!