I am overweight and that’s ok!

I have wanted to write this post for months and months, actually I think longer. It started when I saw Megan share all her body positive posts. I knew I had a story to tell but I just couldn’t get the words out. So the post has just swum around in my head for ages, growing and changing and ultimately ending in today’s post AND a mini campaign of sorts.Body Positive|HarassedMom

I figured the best way to “force” myself to publish this post was to get a few other moms on board to share their stories and in turn hold me accountable to share mine. So that is exactly what I did. I approached a group of moms who I felt has a story to tell and together, over the next 4 weeks we will be sharing our body positive stories.

I have blogged about my struggle to accept my changing body, I allude to it a lot and to be honest it is something I have struggled with since I was a teenager. I turn 40 this year and figure it is time for me to make peace with my body and give myself a break. 

I recently listed to Lindy West’s audio book called Shrill and something shifted a little in me. It is an incredibly powerful book, if you haven’t read it, get it NOW! There is a whole chapter on how fat people are treated by airlines and passengers that made me cringe and I don’t think I will ever travel the same way again. 

She said something that, for me, was one of Oprahs light bulb moments. She said 

you can’t advocate for yourself if you won’t admit what you are

I accept I am a mother, so I fight for my rights as a mother. I accept I am a women, so I advocate for myself as a women. I am a wife, a sister, a business owner and more. I advocate for myself when it comes to all of those roles. I accept them and I am proud of them.

Up until very recently I have not accepted that I am not ever going to be a size 10. I am never not going to have rolls and a muffin top. I am a big women. I have broad shoulders, I have never not had had a bit of a tummy. I have never had a tiny waist. It is not how I was born. I am never going to wear a string bikini or a tank top that shows my mid-riff!

AND THAT IS OK! I am ok with it because I am MORE than my body and I am tired of letting that part of me define who I am and in many ways hold me back from things. 

Accepting my body means I can start advocating for my rights. It means I can change the way I talk to my girls about their bodies. It means I don’t have to accept the ill fitting clothes retail outlets force on me. It means I can challenge the comments that judge women on their weight.

It means I have a voice as a women rolls. 

When I started chatting to bloggers one of the things I didn’t really want to focus on was the narrative “my body is awesome because I am a mom”. Of course having babies is awesome and our bodies need a high 5 but it is not the reason I need to love my body.

My body has seen 4 caesars, a hip replacement, numerous hip and back surgeries (I think 4/5), tonsil and wisdom teeth removal – my body has been throug1h a lot – I think it deserves that piece of cake dammit!!!

As moms, particularly, we need to change that narrative to “I love my body because it is awesome.” 

It has taken me ages to write this post and I am not even sure I am getting my message across but we need to celebrate who we are in our entirety. We need to take our power back as women. If I had spent as much time on blogging as I did on worrying about what to wear and how many calories I am consuming I would probably have double the number of blog posts!

I will share with you all the other bloggers stories as they share them over the next few weeks!

It is time for us to bring a new type of sexy back!

I am going to leave you with this quote from Lindy West because it is incredibly powerful 

“when you pit women against one another, keep us shackled by shame and hunger, obsessing over our flaws rather than our power and potential; when you leverage all of that to sap our money and our time—that moves the rudder of the world. It steers humanity toward conservatism and walls and the narrow interests of men, and it keeps us adrift in waters where women’s safety and humanity are secondary to men’s pleasure and convenience”

 

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12 Comments

  1. 6 February, 2018 / 12:36 pm

    I love the idea of acceptance equalling advocation. Thank you for this.

    Much love our Laura.

  2. Tracey
    6 February, 2018 / 12:50 pm

    This is MY biggest issue. I am so self conscious about my body. I know I am over weight, I have a big bum and I will probably never be a size 10 either. My skin goes crazy when I am stressed and I look like a teenage. My hair is going grey so quickly, that no amount of dye can solve it because at the rate I have to colour it damages my hair. I bite my nails as far as a person can because I am so highly strung that I am embarrassed to show my hands off.

    YET, I get told I am beautiful often, I get told I am sexy and and and. But I refuse to believe any of it.

  3. 6 February, 2018 / 1:27 pm

    You are gorgeous just the way you are Lau!
    catjuggles recently posted…Rejoice!My Profile

  4. 6 February, 2018 / 3:41 pm

    Happiness doesn’t not come from a number! Your are so right. We are all different and that is certainly not only okay, but amazing! Thanks for sharing!

  5. Jenn (Student Mom)
    6 February, 2018 / 8:10 pm

    Good for you precious girl!!! I hit middle age spread at 40 and 3 years later I drive past my gym contract at least 3 times a week. You know what?? I’m ok with that. I’ve tossed the skinny jeans – they’re freaking uncomfortable!!! My husband likes me as I am because he knows ME! And that’s enough. Well done for writing your post.

  6. 6 February, 2018 / 8:35 pm

    “keep us shackled by shame and hunger, obsessing over our flaws rather than our power ” CHILLS!! This is so amazing. Well done friend. You are absolutely gorgeous and this post is fantastic. I love everything about the body positive narrative. It stands for so much and as women we need to slam our hands on the effing table, stand up and say “yes goddamit I am overweight. Yes I don’t fit into the media’s version of “in shape” but who cares?” We are worthy and we we are stronger when we stand together. It’s a brave thing to proudly declare that you love everything about yourself when so much of the world constantly tells you that you shouldn’t.

  7. 7 February, 2018 / 5:24 pm

    This post is awesome! Thanks for sharing and encouraging others!

  8. 8 February, 2018 / 2:12 am

    Its so important for people, especially mums, to be self assuring of themselves. Have self love. And be confident to be out in the world! Great post!!!

  9. 8 February, 2018 / 3:59 am

    You’re so right. Motherhood does a number on our bodies. I appreciate your willingness to be so open about such a sensitive topic. 🙂

  10. Calleen
    8 February, 2018 / 3:12 pm

    Well done is better than well said – Benjamin Franklin

  11. 11 February, 2018 / 9:10 pm

    Thanks for sharing. I’m also trying to love myself more and accept myself. I am slowly accepting that Kiki is almost 3 and I’m more than likely never going to weigh in the upper 50’s ever again.
    But I’m learning to cut myself some slack and if I get to exercise then good for me and if not that’s ok too.

    Thanks I really needed that and I’m going to download that book too x

  12. 21 February, 2018 / 8:04 pm

    I recently gained 15 pounds over a very short period of time and for not so good reasons. Thanks for sharing. Awesome article.

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