One of my greatest accomplishments is that I have managed to raise at least two and a half, well mannered children who show adults and people in general respect. I know this because people tell me, even my mom throws in a compliment here and there about it.
I also get asked often, how I get it right and I think that one of the biggest keys to success is that we set very tight boundaries on the things that matter. I grew up with very clear boundaries and still have very clear boundaries in all the relationships I have (there are times, I am learning, that they don’t need to be as tight.)
While we are overall pretty relaxed parents, there are a few things we do not compromise on.
Talking back is a huge one for me. I allow my kids to argue and debate and voice their displeasure, respectfully but they may not cheek us and talk back once we have made a decision. I can not handle it. I struggle a lot to deal with it with other kids who talk to me like I am their buddy. If I make a decision that is that, this is not a democracy!
Manners manners manners. This is also about more than just saying please and thank you. It is about walking into someone’s home and asking before you just help yourself and respecting that it is their space. It is about greeting the cashiers at the shops, engaging the petrol pump attendant and not just treating everyone like a minion.
Being kind and respecting people. I harp on about this to the big kids a lot, especially in relation to bullying and following the crowd. Often they will share conversations that happen at school or on their whatsapp groups that are really not nice, they both know that if I catch them taking part in those kinds of discussions there will be serious consequences. They do not have to like everyone or be friends with everyone but they have to be kind and respectful.
My kids know exactly where the lines are and they know exactly what happens when they push those boundaries. It is probably one of the hardest parts of parenting, the constant enforcing of the rules you have set in place but there really is no other way, you do not want to raise an asshole.
10 Responses
This. So agree with this. I’m always telling Keiden to say hi back, to acknowledge greetings…he may be little, but he’s not so little that it doesn’t matter. And manners, all the manners.
Cassey recently posted…For Mandy, on your birthday
Hahaha I love this!!! The constant enforcing of the boundaries….I am so glad that it eventually pays off 😉
Tana@JugglingMom recently posted…A Family Picnic at Warwick Wines
Does it eventually stick? I am constantly harping on my almost 5 year old about manners, respect and kindness, not knowing if it’s just going in the one ear and out the other. Thank you for this.
Kim Muller recently posted…Past, Present, Future
Kim – it feels like it doesn’t but keep on – it WILL work!
Couldnt agree more!
Luchae Williams recently posted…The first day of school. Everyday.
These days it is really a wonderful accomplishment…you have reason to be proud.
Lynette Jacobs recently posted…Unpacking my word for 2016 – GRACE
From the day my kid could understand i started teaching her about manners and respect so many kids i see these days dont have either sad and disgusting
I have met yours and you ARE doing a great job with the manners 🙂
Thank you Marcia 🙂
Exactly what we do!
cat@jugglingact recently posted…Mouthwatering Mondays – Fudge!