There has been much talk recently about styles of parenting and what not. I have been trying to figure out what I do and how I parent.
My biokineticist has a 7 month old baby and every time we have an appointment she asks my advise about something – feeding, bottles, nappies etc. I really don’t mind but this morning when she has asked me about her feeding routine with baby I said to her “I really am not the best person to ask advise about this stuff because I just wing it 98% of the time” to which she replied “I think you are the best person because you don’t think to much about it all, it comes naturally to you”
HA! If only she knew!
The thing is I wasn’t any more or less paranoid when I had Cameron, I never sterilized everything a million times (or even once some days). I never read books about it all. I just did it. I asked my mom or the clinic sister when I wasn’t sure but for the most part I just wing it.
Maybe I am just lazy and should read more or research more or whatever but so far it has worked out ok (if you forget that my kid nearly ran away).
I follow my instincts a lot (which really bugs David because he is all about the logic and reasons for things and often my reason is “It feels wrong/right”) and figure I know my kids best so I know what will work or not. I know if they are sick for real or not. While I like routine I am not bound by it – so Jack snacks if he feels like it – there is no set snack time, he sleeps when he seems tired, he has a bottle when he wants one. I don’t rush them to the Dr – often much to their disgust when they are convinced they are one step away from deaths door but you kinda know when your kid is sick or fake sick.
They have chores, they have responsibilities, they are taught boundaries and consequences and what not. But I find teaching them through experience works a whole lot better than teaching through telling. I spent 2 weeks telling Kiara she can’t spend her money on rubbish because then it will be gone and she will want something important and she won’t have any money left. Eventually I told her she can spend the money BUT she must understand when it’s gone it’s gone. So money is gone and the Travelling Bookshop arrives and school and her bff whips out her debit card to spend away and Kiara can’t – she got in the car and said “mom you were right” – HA!
The only thing I am “strict” about is bed time – all children must be in bed by 19h00 – they older 2 don’t have to sleep but I don’t want to hear or see them. It is my time and they must be quiet and calm.
I still don’t know how I parent – maybe those of you who know me and know about different parenting styles can offer some suggestions? What I do know though is that whatever approach it is it is not always easy or fun. Most days it requires every ounce of energy I have in me and other days not so much!
What I can say though is mom’s need to learn to trust themselves more. You are the only ones who know your children. You are the only ones who know what is right for your family. Trust that!
PS – I see no one is commenting any more – are you guys reading through your readers? Or whats the story? PLEASE don’t apologise for it I am just curious as to why the stats still say you are all coming here but no one is saying much – am I boring you??