Right moms, lets be real for a moment. We have all had those moments where we just want them all to SHUT UP!
Yes, I know shut up is a bad word. I do try to avoid tell my children to shut up, of course I do because I do try to be a good mom. But there are moments when you just need a moment of SILENCE to figure out what you are trying to do or on a bad day where the hell you are.
Let me explain what let up to my shut-up moment.
A few mornings ago, I woke up as I was about to fall out of my own bed. Emma, bless her little cotton socks, found her way into our bed (again) and being the little cherub, she is, pushes David and I to the farthest corners of our own bed in our own room, so that she has enough space to sleep comfortably.
After wiping the sleep out of my eyes and while contemplating how many clients I need to be able to afford a king size bed I went to make some coffee. Oh, look the milk is finished (again). Coffee made I attempt to get back into bed to enjoy my first cup of coffee of the morning. Emma, still blessing her gorgeous little face, has other plans and as I attempt to sit down on my side of the bed she lets out blood curdling howl that wakes the neighbors, the dead and pretty much anyone in a 100-mile radius. Turns out I can’t enjoy my first cup of coffee sitting comfortably on my side of my bed. Nope, instead I get to sit balancing half off the bed. I can’t put my legs out straight because Lucy has decided she needs a spot on the bed as well and is now fake sleeping like she is dead. So, there I am scrunched up in a position my yoga instructor would be proud of trying to drink my coffee.
Guys it is not even 5h30 yet and I am questioning all my life choices.
I finally get my balance, take that first sip when Jack walks in. He starts telling me (for the 521381 time) about his friend who had his eye cut out or something equally disturbing (I think). Once that story is done, he inhales and starts with the next story, which is equally long winded and didn’t seem to have a point.
Then he starts asking me when I am going downstairs. Why am I not going now? He wants to watch something and can’t put it on himself so needs me to go downstairs so when am I going to go downstairs? Now? Am I going now? How much coffee do I still have to drink? Why am I still in bed? NO Cameron can not put his show on, it must be ME?
I do what any mother would do. I down my coffee. Unfold myself and go downstairs.
There is no coming back from going downstairs in my house in the mornings. NONE!
Putting the TV on is not as simple as you may think. Not in our house anyway.
What do you want to watch Jack?
What is there?
Pretty much the same thing that was there yesterday.
Ok, well let me see what I want to watch. Go across, down, up, to the left, right two, down three…….no not that. I want to watch Word Game (which incidentally is the SAME THING HE ALWAYS PICKS)
Right that’s done, now for breakfast.
I am making egg for breakfast.
Jack: I don’t want egg, what else is there
Emma: HOWL HOWL SCREAM SCREAM
Me: Jack there is cheese toast!
Jack: FINE I WILL HAVE EGG
Emma: SCREAM HOWL HOWL SCREAM
I make egg for Jack, he eats the egg. Fortunately, once food is placed in front of him he is less resistant and generally eats.
I head upstairs to get changed but am stopped by Emma who is naked, still howl howl scream screaming. She needs tea and egg and clothes. She can not get her bottle, clothes or wait to eat at school. It must all happen NOW and I must make it happen NOW.
As soon as I have the bottle in one hand, a pair of panties in the other, toddler hanging on my leg and 6 year old yelling there is a problem with his show that Kiara asks me to please sign her book or something. I am not sure because of the bottle, panties and toddler.
I do inform her that David, her father, can in fact write and even sign stuff. She seems genuinely shocked.
Cameron, reading the room like a champion, asks me if he can straighten his hair and to please remember to get him more oil for his skin.
Enter David, not wanting to be left out of the chaos, asking me if I have seen his shorts or the nail clipper or something I have not touched, worn or have any knowledge of.
So, let’s just recap for those people still reading.
I have five people all trying to talk to me at the same time. I have pretty much had at least 2 people talking to me (or at me) non-stop for the past hour.
It is roughly at this point that I want them ALL TO SHUT UP!
Just for a minute. Just so I can fix Jack’s show, find Emma the right pair of panties, sign Kiara’s book, nod in Cameron’s direction and make a note to come back to the hair straightening topic and find Davids running shorts.
This happens pretty much every morning. Most mornings I can deal with it but some mornings I CAN NOT! The noise gets suffocating. Someone constantly needing me gets overwhelming. The whining feels so loud my ears actually ring for days.
Despite that – Emma got dressed. Jack watched his show. I signed Kiara’s book. Cameron got his oil (jury still out on the whole straightening thing) and David went for a run (in some shorts, not sure if they were black) AND I was extremely happy when I dropped them all off and finally enjoyed a hot cup of coffee with my bum on my bed!
I am giving you all permission to have a shut up moment guilt free!
Disclaimer: No children were told to shut up during this incident.
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