Let’s talk about poo, baby

Do you remember that song “Let’s talk about sex, baby” – it’s a bit of an earworm song and I have had it in my head for days now!

David thinks I make this stuff to make him feel bad for going away and having sleep fulled nights and meals cooked for him (even if dinner is the goat outside his window – someone else is cooking it!). I wish I did because then I wouldn’t be severely traumatised by what has happened over the last 24 hours!

Emma hasn’t been sleeping well the last week or so. I knew with David gone nights would be rough because we tag team it at night so we do both get sleep (not enough but enough if you know what I mean). Sunday night was ok and both her and Jack slept nicely from 2h00 – 4h50 after Emma had two HUGE HUGE poos – like HUGE PEOPLE. I felt ok to take on the day though and I managed to get everyone in the car 2 minutes ahead of schedule and I made an entire yoga class so I was feeling rather chuffed!

Then the one wheel started getting a bit wonky and Miss Emma, who also hasn’t been drinking properly, started screaming and screaming. She was due to feed but would not take the bottle at all. Eventually I gave her some buscopan and panado and then called the Dr to rule out anything major like ears, throat etc. She wouldn’t really settle so I went to fetch Jack early and she fell asleep in the car. She woke up a while later with another HUGE poo – we had to change all her clothes. It was yukky! It was everywhere.

She managed to drink a little and seemed calm. Jack then went to the loo and let out a blood curdling scream. He had held a poo in since I dropped him off at school that morning and now it wouldn’t come out and was painful. After much screaming I managed to get him to take some meds to help the situation.

Cameron then messages me that I must come fetch him because he doesn’t have media duty. So off we go but now we have a 30 minute wait in the car for Kiara to finish art so what happens? Emma starts screaming, Jack needs to poo and its ALL JUST CHAOS!!!!

Jack eventually has success in the toilet and Emma drinks a little more. I also decided to give her some pumpkin because I am a little concerned about her food intake now! All went well until I discovered the dog had dug out all Emma’s poo nappies and spread them all over my bedroom floor! The dog is LUCKY that I love my daughter because she almost found herself being drop kicked over the wall!

Bedtime went well. By 19h00 both babies were bathed and asleep! Then at 20h00 Jack calls me he wants to wee. I take him, pull his pants down and he refuses! As I pick him up to take him back to bed he wees ALL OVER ME!!!

Let me tell you, dear readers, at this point I was ready to run away!

But I was too tired to even walk downstairs to get into the car so I went to bed and the night went….

22h00 Jack calls me – I settle him
23h15 Emma cries – I pop the dummy in and turn her over
01h15 Emma cries – I pop the dummy in and turn her over
02h19 Emma cries – I pop the dummy in. She cries some more. I pop the dummy in. She cries. I feed her. She drinks.
02h40 Jack needs me – I put him in my bed
03h17 Emma cries – repeat the dummy thing a few times
04hsomething Emma cries – I try feed her – two sucks and she’s asleep
05h09 – Emma cries and I get up and admit defeat!

It doesn’t end there though.

I hear she is making a poo! I leave her! She looks finished so I change her. As I am putting the last wet wipe on the dirty nappy she PROJECTILE POOS ALL OVER ME!!!!!

Jack was lying next to her and sits up and goes “WHAT HAPPENED”

You know what happened? I had KIDS! THAT’s what happened *sigh*

But on the upside – I made yoga this morning and there is nothing visible wrong with her! AND a bird pooped on my window as we left for gym earlier which means money doesn’t it?

How has your week been?



  1. 20 May, 2014 / 12:48 pm

    Haha I love reading your posts. This reminds me of Kitana’s explosions

  2. Catherine Jordan
    20 May, 2014 / 1:09 pm

    oh poop – love reading your stories

  3. 20 May, 2014 / 1:28 pm

    OMG SOOOO glad I’m over those early baby poo diapers. Which is just a reminder, THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!! {Hugs}

  4. 20 May, 2014 / 2:46 pm

    Oh my friend. No words just much sympathy! I hope that giving Em the solids will help her sleep at night so you can get some much needed rest.


    • 20 May, 2014 / 3:55 pm

      ohmyhat! I never had poo issues except for one time with Connor where it went up his back onto the babygrow and now you’re making me really glad.

      HERE”S YOUR MEDAL – because after that night, you need it!

      And I’m way too excited because my car noise is GONE!!!! So I’m ready for our date next week!

  5. 20 May, 2014 / 4:02 pm

    I salute you. I can’t even deal with the dog’s oopsies. But I did lol, loudly, until I coughed and people looked at me funny.

  6. ankia
    20 May, 2014 / 6:34 pm

    I’m sorry but I had to lol! You are really having a shitty time at the moments 😉 By the way, don’t you think she maybe had a slight tummy bug that was kinda over today just as you had her at the doc? Might be?

  7. 20 May, 2014 / 8:10 pm

    I wouldn’t know whether to laugh or cry! Hope you get some sleep in the near future and little Emma gets better.
    PS The dog spreading the nappies really made me laugh because we have two dogs who are very interested in smells although fortunately this hasn’t happened yet… I put the nappy dustbin high up.

  8. 20 May, 2014 / 8:54 pm

    😆 Jack’s question made me laugh. A boy after my own heart. Hope there’s no more poppy episodes and Emma is sleeping better.

    Isn’t it interesting that these things happen when you are home alone with the kids

    Hugs my friend

  9. Stephanie
    20 May, 2014 / 8:59 pm

    Hang in there, u had me in laughs with the poo stories, i only have one daughter and i get tired, i take my hat off to u 4 kids is hard work

  10. 21 May, 2014 / 5:01 am

    Shame Laura. You have all my sympathy. When N cut her first two teeth she made 26 runny poo nappies IN A ROW! Her little bum was on fire as you can imagine. Hope it goes better today.

  11. MeeA Parkins
    21 May, 2014 / 9:46 am

    Every single one of my kids has projectile pooed all over me at least once. It’s like a rite of passage! I take my hat off to you, though. Sure, we have the same number of kids but my David doesn’t go away for work and I have a full time helper at home. Plus, David drops all the kids off in the mornings (most mornings) and brings the little ones home with him in the evenings, so I only have to pick up 2 kids from school and they go to the same school… And only one of them does an extra mural – Megan has guitar lessons and the teacher comes to our house.
    I don’t know how you manage! BUT I’m super jealous of your bus! And you always seem to me to have it so much more together than I ever manage, even with all the help I get!

  12. 21 May, 2014 / 12:23 pm

    That is disgustingly hilarious! I hope that it gets much, much, much better for you now!

  13. 21 May, 2014 / 2:53 pm

    What a CRAPPY time you’re having! lol! Hope everything settles down 🙂

  14. 21 May, 2014 / 3:43 pm

    what a week hoping week gets better

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