I am extremely tense today! Like clubbing baby seals kinda tense!
I chatted to my mom briefly earlier and told her it’s her fault I worry so much about rubbish! She does it too. She always has. Often it’s a good thing because sometimes she will say “what about this” and I had never considered it before but it is not a good thing when I do it, especially when I lie awake at 3 in the morning worrying about random stuff!
Tania wrote about the same thing over here so I know I am not alone but do feel slightly crazy for the thoughts bouncing around in my head!
Mainly for the sake of purging let me share a few of the things I am currently worrying about….
- The new car – apart from the maintenance of the car I worry about parking it (which hasn’t been an issue…yet), I worry I am going to smash into the pipes/light in the underground parking, I worry about dropping the kids off (Kiara is battling to open the door and it makes me SO anxious).
- Cameron – he didn’t study much for these exams but still managed a 85% average for the exams BUT I still worry about the next exams and getting him to learn he needs to study.
- Kiara’s eating – or lack thereof!
- How I will cope when David is away next week (never mind that our routine is in no way actually disrupted).
- Being on time – I hate being late so much so that when I don’t have kids I generally arrive 10-15 minutes early wherever I go.
- If I have enough money in my account – even on pay day when I know there is enough I ALWAYS check while I am standing in the queue.
- The dog – are we being cruel keeping her in our tiny garden – I even let her on the couches because I feel so bad about her having a small garden.
- My parents! ALL THE TIME! I worry about something happening to one of them.
- Being broken into – do you know I have escape plans in case they do – they can break in from any door or the roof and I have an exit strategy!
- When I am in a gym class I worry the whole time that one of the teachers is trying to get hold of me and can’t.
- The baby! I worry every day all day about all the things that could go wrong.
And it goes on and on and on! AND ON!
It is exhausting and annoying! I hate it. As much as I try and push it out my mind, something will always come back!
David is almost the exact opposite which often frustrates us both because I can’t understand why he won’t move his car immediately when it starts hailing in Joburg and he can’t understand why I am freaking out when the sun is still out and there is no sign of a storm.
I know it has to do with control and I know it is not really rational and I am not looking for reassurance because I know it all but seem to have been handed a double dose of the “worry gene”.
Do you worry?