Racism is man’s gravest threat to man – the maximum of hatred for a minimum of reason. ~Abraham Joshua Heschel
Sharon has posted a lot recently about the challenges of racing mixed race children. Even though I did not adopt my older two kids, I still get a lot of the same questions and comments she does because if you look at us, you could assume that we did possibly adopt them.
I must say for the most part I ignore stupid comments and questions because otherwise it could get ugly.
Sharon’s latest blog post was about “Would you allow your child to marry a brown person?”.
Lets think about this for a minute shall we. This question implies that you, as the parent, have a say in your child’s choice of partner which is a) extremely naive, b) an indication that you do not trust that your child is capable of making their own decision and c) rather racist!
My answer to this question (in relation to my white children). No I won’t allow my children to marry a brown person or a white person or any person because I have no right to forbid them or “not allow” them to marry anyone! We do not live in the 1900’s (or modern day India), arranged marriages are not how we do things here, thank goodness! And also, stupid person asking this question, I would rather my child marry a person of a different colour to them who treats them right than marry an asshole! Think about it! You kid can do worse things than marry a person a different colour to them!
I get asked a fair amount “Are they yours?“
I want to yell “No they aren’t, I bought them from a Nigerian-Asian child trafficker to clean my house, do the ironing. I have just allowed them out today for the bi-annual dose of Vitamin D”
No one asks a white parent if their white kid is theirs so why ask me if the children I am with are mine? Again, lets think a little!
My all time favourite though is “Gosh you are such a good person“
HUH? Why I am a good person? For loving my children?
Why is David a good person? For caring for 2 children who aren’t his? Would you still think he is a good person if they were white? Huh? Would you? Probably not!
If you are the type of person who thinks we need praise for loving our children of colour then you, douchebag, are not a good person! Good people don’t love their children. Parents love their children!
I tolerate these questions from children because they are questioning and learning and figuring things out but when grown up people ask me stupid things, loaded with racial undertones – I have no time! NONE!